Forbidden Love

~ 36

  I had been so lost in constructing scenarios for the evening ahead that I was surprised to see how far I had come; already the cafe was in sight. There was nothing slick about it, no fancy fonts or white etching upon the glass. You could pick the whole thing up and send it back thirty years and it wouldn't look out of place. There weren't any tables with fancy umbrellas, just the uneven pavement baring the cracks of age.  But I was not here to sit at the cafe and be judgemental on the decoration, I was here to see Lauren. She was already in there looking like she had been stood up, but she knew I'd be late, so she waited. Suddenly all my preparations flew my mind like scared children, my brain felt full of static. I stopped. Part of me was screaming to turn around and forget about the whole thing and move on. But so many questions was on my mind that I forced myself to be ready; be prepared to know the truth once and for all. Then maybe it will all make sense to me and I could finally set myself free from all the miserable sleepless night, replaying the past like an unstoppable hurricane in my head.

The bell on the door made a sound as soon as I opened the glass door, a few faces turning towards me before they went back to their activities. Only one familiar face still had her face on me as I tucked my hands in my jacket and walked towards the counter. A woman with a soft blonde hair came out of the kitchen and smiled at me, something about it looked familiar. I shrugged it off and ordered a Latte for myself.

“That’ll be five dollars, lady,” She had said, putting down my drink on the counter. I smiled and fished out a few notes from my purse and paid. When I was turning around to go to the table, the woman called out. I stopped in my tack and turned towards her.

“Have we met before? You look.. familiar.” She said while eyeing me from head to toe.

“I um, I work at the building across the street. Maybe you’ve seen me around?”

She nodded her head, smiling but never tore her gaze away from me. “I must have.”

I smiled for the last time and quickly made my way down towards the table where Lauren had waited. The quick strange encounter with the woman had been forgotten as soon as I saw the sight of Lauren. "Hey," I greeted, plopping myself down on the chair. "Sorry for the late, um, I was finishing a paperwork."

A flash of guilt crossed her face as she put her hands on the table. "I'm sorry if this is a trouble for you. Should we just-"

"No," I shook my head, stopping her from finishing the words I knew I wanted to hear. I had gather every courage that was left in me to be there, and I was not going to let her stop it. "Just go on. I'm listening."

"I.. I don't know where to start," Lauren bit her lips nervously and I had never seen her looking so guilty I thought she was going to break down. "There's just so many things I have to explain to you."

"Start with the things you've been wanting to tell me if that'll make it easier," I said.

Lauren nodded her head and I shifted my seat to the side and waited for her to speak. "I would explain what I did to you was fucked up, but you already know that. But.. what you probably didn't know was that I never meant it. Any of it. This is no excuses, but I had no choice."

"So, what's the truth?" I asked, watching the nervousness in her face slowly drained away as she tried to calm her emotions.

"I was bad at school, you know that," She started. "My grades were the worse, I failed exams and.. it was just.. horrible. And I didn't care about any of it, until I got a letter from the school. I just wished they came in my hands."

I raised my eyebrows, motioning her to explain.

"Dad got them before me, so he just.. called me in one night and asked me about it all, blah blah. I was almost expelled because of my grades," She glanced up at me for a few seconds before she looked down on her cup of coffee. "So Dad made a deal. Said if I wanted to go back to school and make everything better, I had to help him."

Even though I knew it was coming, there was still a sharp pain on my chest as she told me. I started to feel nauseous as I realized this was only the beginning and it was not even half of the truth; not even on why Alex had left me.

"So I did, I agreed because I wanted to change my grades. I wanted to start my school over so I accepted his deal, 'cause how bad would his deal be, right?" Lauren let out a soft sarcastic chuckle, a splash of anger covered her face. "Except that yeah, it was fucking bad. He told me about his plan to get rid of Alex from you, you probably know it at this point."

I nodded my head slightly. "How did Austin get along?"

"Because Dad knew how obsessed was that dude with you," She said. "And he hated Alex too, so he agreed on it."

I wrapped my hands on my face and let out a small sigh. I felt like she was telling me everything that I already knew. "Is that all? Cause I knew all about that."

Lauren took a deep breath and looked up at me. "I wanted to tell you why he really left."

At the mention of his name, my heart clenched. "W-why?"

Lauren was just about to say something when my phone beeped in my pocket. I excused myself and picked up the phone instantly when I saw Yuree’s name on the screen. “Yuree?”

“Camila, I’ve send you a location. You have to come down here fast, no time. I’m waiting.”

“Wait, what’s wrong? What’s happening?” As soon as she said the name, my heart dropped. The adrenaline flooded my system like it was on an intravenous drip - right into my blood at full pelt. I quickly ended the call and ran back towards Lauren where she was taking a sip of her coffee when she saw me running. “Lauren, I have to go. I’ll call you back when I’m home.”

“Hey, what's wrong?”

I was on the verge of crying that I could not even say a word. I couldn't stop her when she wanted to come with me, so we both just left the cafe behind. Lauren left through the back door since she parked her car back there and I made my way towards the front door. One moment I was rushing forward, eyes on the track ahead and all I could think of was I needed to be fast. But I was in so much panic that I didn’t realize my left foot should have extended to take my weight,  but instead it got caught on the door jam. The air pushed against my face, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact that I knew was coming.

Except that it didn’t.

“Wow, careful there,” He helped me get back on my feet and I looked up to thank him. “Camila?”

For a moment we just stared at each other, both our brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that we weren’t expecting each other; at least I didn’t. He closed his mouth, then looked at his toes before glancing back up to catch my eyes. “Are you.. okay?”

One time when I was in a blind in a tree, waiting motionless for game to wonder by, I dozed off and fell ten feet to the ground, landing on my back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I lay there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.

And that was exactly how I felt now in front of him, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the same name bounced around inside my skull. I had to move, to get away from him as far as possible but my feet didn’t feel a thing. My brains had trick me into making a mess of questions and feelings at the same time while I wanted to say something. I had to say something, damn it I had to. Think of something, Camila. Say something!

“Rhea is in the hospital,” I blurted out, the words flowing from my mouth were too fast for me to catch on something else to say. “I- she’s-”

“I’m coming with you,” He looked down at me and even in my blurry version, I knew that look. His eyes showed the kind of gentle concern; one that he always gave me when I needed every comfort I could get- when I just needed someone to tell me everything would be alright. He laid his hand lightly on my shoulder, and instead of flinching like I usually did, I was soothed by it. He left his hand there and spoke with such a soft voice I felt his words calming me more by the way they were said than the actual words. How could I not consider my actions now, now that I could see how profoundly they affected him too?