| highest rank - #8 out of #50 • 23rd Oct |
In which a bad boy fell in love with the good girl. And when things started to fall apart, neither of them knew if their love could still stand.
-"I can't take it. I can't bear the fact that this world sc...
[ loving you was sunshine, safe and sound, a steady place to let down my differences. but loving you had consequences. ]
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It was like a void. A dark void. A never ending dark void that consumed everything, so you were left feeling nothing. Empty. Nothing to subsided your hollow soul that creeped in the shadows, away from any other human life because the emptiness was so consuming it cannot bare to pretend that everything was okay.
Nothing was okay, even if I pretended like it was. I didn't see any point in trying to fix what already happened, because there really wasn't much difference. I told him everything, he listened and then he walked away. I felt like for the second time, I lost him again. But did you really lost them if they weren't even yours in the first place?
I had been staring at a photograph for hours, and that was all it took for the tears to burst my dam of restraint. I clutched the solid wooden frame tight in my hands, able to see a ghostly reflection of my face in the thin sheen of glass that covered it. It was our picture we took once, one that I kept with me for as long as I could remember. I looked past my own dreary eyes and stared upon his face that had been caught in a moment of perfection. It was the happiest memories that hurt the worst, they were the ones that cut me deepest. I focused in on his eyes, they were glistening with the twinkle of laughter that I loved.
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Now, they laughed at me.
They reminded me of what I seemed to lost. I clutched the frame tight, pressing it hard to my chest, wishing to feel his head resting upon them one last time. It was then that I realised I no longer knew how I felt. I felt numb, yet somehow in agony. I longed to be free of him, yet I wanted him back more than I had ever wanted anything. He felt like drugs- he ruined me in every way possible but he was addictive and I wanted him closer to me.
It seemed funny- my mom always warned me about drugs- but she never reminded me of one that had two eyes and a beating heart.
He turned every moment we spent together into painful memories. They were sharp, and cut right through me every time I thought about that time. Even the sweet good moments we had were now turned into a knife that killed my already broken heart. He pierced my soul; he made me skeptical about people and love. And I hated him. I fucking hated him for that. But I couldn't hate him without loving him just as much. He turned me into this broken mess, and even if I won't see him again, his touch will be with me for years, or maybe for the rest of my life, sadly no one knew.
