Forbidden Love

~ 32

The beach was gentle beneath my bare feet. Tips of shells peeked from holes, made by little creatures, seeking shelter in the soft sand. The sun's rays peacefully floated, resting on the warm waters. My ears invited in the quiet whisper of waves, sharing the ocean's secrets. A graceful song, when birds calm calls broke the silence in the settled scene. The fresh airs salty smell tickled my nose.

The beach is my go-to place. Some folks like their fancy coffees: cream and sugar on top- I liked the sands and the smell of the deep ocean. I sucked in the salty air- it tasted like home. The beach huts laid ahead, no bigger than my garden shed but painted the same kind of candy hues. Above the sun was bright, but as always in November it had no real heat, only the power to render the ocean a glittering deep-blue like his eyes. Those eyes I missed.

Rhea stood so still, eyes following the bird in flight. She watched as children do, with that look of love and awe. Her eyes stayed with the bird, the beating wings capturing her mind in the most calming of ways, the same way soft waves on the beach do. It was as if she was in love with nature, with life itself, and I prayed this life nurtured that sense in her, kept her as whole as she was born.

I watched Rhea as she walked towards the guy who laid in the sand like he was sleeping. I'd watched him do this over and over. When Rhea came to rouse him he acted no more alive than a sack of beans. He waited until she got right up close to his face. Then he jumped up, scattering the yellow grains with arms that fling wide, hands like starfish in the summer sun. Then he roared without shame, standing there with his tousled brown hair masking the sand that must’ve had cover it. It fell back down into his eyes and all I could see was a white gap-toothed grin. Rhea screamed every time, not upset but elated; she jumped, clapped and giggled.

I was too busy looking at them two that I didn't realized the guy who’d just covered in sand was now walking towards me, swinging a towel over his shoulders and sat right next to me. “You don't wanna swim?“

I cleared my throat and shook my head. “We should get going. It's getting dark.“

Austin nodded his head as he wiped around his body. He looked over Rhea who was building a sandcastles with another little girl she'd greeted before he turned to me. “Rhea asked me the question last night.“

I threw my gaze away, anywhere but near Austin’s. I knew what was coming, we’d talked about this over and over again. I could still recall our conversation perfectly clear, none of them had really got out of my mind. When I gazed out instead of responding, Austin grabbed my hands. The heat from his fingers creeped into my consciousness and I wanted to pull my hand away.

Touch. So long without it that I didn't want it anymore. It was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. After a few seconds more the urge was too strong and I took my fingers back, hiding them in my pocket. His bottom lip trembled and he gestured for it back. I can’t. So I got up from my feet, calling Rhea from the distance.

“How long are you going to lie to her, Camila?“ Austin had sneaked up behind my back, he was so close I felt his breath on my shoulders. “You're lying to her about things that she has the right to know.“

I bit my lips, my hands were shaking as I tried to keep my sense still. “We've talked about this, haven't we? She'll know when she's ready enough.“

“And just how long is that? Years later when she's grown enough to turn her back on you for lying to her about her real dad?“

“She's my daughter!“ I snapped out, feeling the anger bubbled up inside me. “I'm not going to tell her the truth until she can understand that her father had to leave the town before he even know that she existed!“