Married To Protect You (DISCONTINUED; NEW AUTHOR)

Twenty-Five:- Frustration

~Justin's point of view~


It's my first time at a wild party. Everyone was dancing and letting loose on the dance floor. Me? I'm just sitting at the bar with Darielle. We did nothing but just sat there in silence.



        Well technically, there was loud music blasting through the stereos making it less silent. We weren't talking at all. I just  sat there with my back leaning against the bar with my elbows supporting me from behind as I watched everyone danced. I glance at Darielle from the corner of my eye. She leaned against the bar while stirring her drink with the plastic rod. She seemed bored. Who am I kidding? She is bored.



        I cursed myself in my head for being such a boring person. She doesn't deserve someone like me. I may have changed my appearance but that doesn't change that I'm still a nerd and a dork in the inside. She's the type of girl who likes being amused.



        I'm not amusing at all. I stammer a lot, get scared easily, can't stand up for myself and I can't even pay for my own clothes! What kind of fiance am I? I sighed forlornly. I am despondent. This time I turned my head and my eyes are staring at her. Sometimes I wonder why would a girl like her, be with a guy like me.



        A sudden memory flashed through my mind. The time she confessed to me. Was she just saying that to save my butt or did she really mean it? I would die of shock if she actually meant it. I mean, I've never had a crush on anyone.



        But, having someone crushing on me is just way unbelievable. I'm not saying that someone can't like me but, for someone who can like me is just . . . Shocking. I'm not someone special. I'm not rich nor do I even have a vehicle to ride to school. Why would such a woman like me? I just don't get it.



        "Hey, are you going to just going to let flies zoom into your mouth?" Darielle spoke making me realized that I had been staring at her with my mouth open. I quickly shut it as I felt my face grew warm. 



        Did I just seriously embarrassed myself? I'm such a dork. I heard her giggle. I looked at her, still blushing. "You really are something huh, Jay?"



        Jay . . . She made up a nickname for me. I like it. I can get use to that. "I like that." I spoke softly to her. She looker at me with her head tilt to the side making her look cute. "What? Jay?" I bit my lip and nodded. I saw a grin crept upon her lips. "Then I shall call you that anytime." The both of us chuckled. This is the first time we actually like something together.



        "Hey umm, Darielle?" She cut in before I could continue. "Please, call me Dari." She smiled. Her smile. So mischievous yet warming. I smiled back at her. "Okay, Dari." She raised her eyebrows signalling I have her attention. "I-I was wondering . . ." I trailed as I looked into her eyes. "W-Why would a girl like you, agree to marry a guy like me?" I couldn't help it. I had to know.



        I knew that question was a little unexpected for her. She averted her eyes from mine and looked at the side as if she was thinking. Then, she lift her eyes up to me as if she knew the answer. "Why not?"



        That . . . Now that, took me unexpectedly. Why not? What's that suppose to mean? Am I just someone for her to play with so that she wouldn't be bored? "I don't mean it in a bad way." She answered as if she read my mind. I sucked in my bottom lip as if to show that I was unsatisfied with the answer. She sighed as she turned her body around to face the people who were dancing. She copied the way I sat but hers was more ladylike. She crossed her legs.



        "You're a good person, Justin. You are a special guy but you don't know it. The reason why David bullied you was because he envy you." I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. Envy? Why would David be envy of me? "You are smart, sweet, decent and handsome." I blushed when she said I was handsome.



        Quit blushing, damn it! "You were definitely different than any guy I have ever met. Soon enough," She giggled before continuing as she looks into my eyes with a loving expression. "I fell in love with you."



        Thump . . . That's what my heart has been doing but a little more faster. She fell in love? With me? That's impossible. What's so great about me? I'm a dork and a lame nerd. I get bullied everyday. She has the time to fall in love with me? What is that?



        I shook my head vigorously. "You're lying." I mumbled. "What?"



        I gritted my teeth and my eyebrows furrowed. "You can't fall in love with me." I spoke a little louder. She tilted her head to the side making her look cute. "Why?" She asked so innocently. My jaw was tensed. I couldn't take it anymore.



        I slammed my fists against the table making our glass rattle and Darielle taken aback by my actions. "Damn it, Darielle! Quit doing that!" I exclaimed in frustration. My nervous-self wasn't there anymore. It took me by surprise but I didn't show it. Her eyebrows creased as she scooted her chair closer to me. My breath hitched when we were even closer. My breathing was unsteady and my heart was beating fast like a drum. Why does she make me feel like this? Why? 



        "Quit doing what?" My eyes was roaming all over her face. How can someone so beautiful yet mysterious can make me so frustrated? "Quit being so darn cute!" I yelled making her widened her eyes. "Wh-What are you talking about?" That was the first time I see her a little vulnerable. I felt a pang of sadness when I saw a glint of fear in her eyes; even if it was for a second.



        I was about to shout again when I looked around to see people glancing at us every now and then. My hands balled into fists. No. Not here.



        Without hesitation, I threw a few dollars on the counter to pay for the drinks before grabbing Darielle's wrist and pulling her out from the wild party. I ignored her questions and protests. All I want is her and me to be alone.



        Just me and her. No one else.

 

~+~+~+~+~

 

        I pushed her into our room and shut the door. I locked the door after I made sure no one was outside and they couldn't hear us. Damn, I sound like a pedophile. I sighed as I leaned against the door while Darielle sat on her bed. Luckily, there were two beds.



        It was quiet at first until she spoke up. "What did you mean by me to stop being cute?" I looked at her. "I wasn't even trying." I bit my lip. "I'm sorry but I couldn't stand it. I had to burst." I grumbled. I looked at her and saw that she was looking at me then looked down. I almost fell down the floor. I could have sworn I saw a blush on her cheeks. Not again.



        "You're doing it again!" I exclaimed making her jump. I swear that I felt I wasn't the lame Justin anymore. It feels good. "Stop with the cuteness! It's driving me insane! I can't control it anymore." I grumbled in frustration. "So troublesome." I muttered as I ran my fingers through my hair.



        "I'm sorry." I heard her murmur. She had her head down whilst she fiddled with her fingers. I couldn't help but roam my eyes down her body. I now know what the guys at school had been talking about. Darielle is a sexy woman. No denying that but, my way of saying 'sexy' is different. It's more of gorgeous, beautiful, flawless, stunning and so on. I guess you could say I'm a gentleman. I'd have to be honest.



        I'm actually a hopeless romantic. If . . . If I ever fall in love, I would definitely treat the girl I love like a queen. Unlike the jocks at our school, they just like to hump and dump. That's all they know. It's sick, really.



        "You know," I snapped my head towards Darielle. She stood up and was standing a few centimeters in front of me. "You didn't even stutter when you yelled at me." She said as my full attention was on her. "You . . . You were different. Makes me fall in love with you more." She smiled sweetly at me. "How can you say that so easily? You're not even nervous. Why is that?" It was more of a demand than a question.



        She bit her lip. My jaw tensed up again. Now she's being sexy. How can something so simple be so effective towards me?



        "I rarely get nervous. If I want to say something, I'll say it. Or else, I'll lose the opportunity and regret it. The moment I found the right time to tell you, it was as if the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I'm thankful." She explained so simple. I bit my lip. I didn't have the confidence she has. Honestly, I like girls with confidence. Makes them more attractive.



        I saw her took a few steps towards me with a calm expression on her face. "Even if you don't love me, I will always love you." That was it. I couldn't take it.



        I pulled her to me by her wrist and kissed her hard. My eyebrows were furrowed in frustration. It wasn't a bad frustration, it wasn't really a good one either. Somewhere in the middle. It was like I couldn't take it anymore and kissed her. I had the urge and took it. She was definitely shocked by my actions.



        I wrapped my other arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I didn't want a gap between us. What's wrong with me? Why am I suddenly like this? This is so not like me . . .  But I can't help but like it.



        I lifted my hand which held her wrist; up to her neck and pushed her head so that I could get more of her luscious lips. Soon enough, she kissed me back. I felt her delicate hands on my chest. They slowly move up to my shoulders making me shiver and made their way up to wrap themselves around my neck. My hand slowly went down to her back and pulled her close to me.



        We were chest to chest, lip to lip and heart beat to heart beat. I wanted more so I did something I didn't think I would do in a kiss. I licked the bottom of her lip. Slowly, she opened her mouth and I could smell her minty breath. That made me shiver in delight. Soon, our tongues were fighting for dominance. Our breaths were hitting each other. Our hands and arms were roaming everywhere. My hands caressed the back of her slim body. My fingers sometimes brush over the hem of her dress and sometimes I felt the softness of the back of her thigh.



        I can't believe this. I'm kissing Darielle Jones. I want her. I know she wants me. She loves me. I know that.



        But do I love her?

 

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