Dodged a bullet •jkxbts•

°sharp blades°

Jungkook pov

I slowly open my eyes blinking them open as I try to get my clouded vision back to normal.

I'm not sure why I woke up, it still seems dark and their was no alarm screaming at me telling me to wake up. I lift my head up from my handsome hyungs broad bare shoulder and look around trying to find the clock until I see the green didgets through the darkness.

5:43am Damn I didn't think it would be that early. I look back down at my hyung and see his beautiful features shown off as the moonlight leaks through the blinds and complements his perfect face.

I smile lovingly knowing this beautiful guy is mine. I bend down and lightly peck his lips before standing up and walking past a sleeping Yoongi and into their bathroom.

I barely ever use this bathroom, as a matter of fact no one dose besides those two it's very rare considering each bed room had their own bathroom and then the main one.

I walk in and see Jins hyungs side completely next and clean,all his make up neatly organised well his hair gels and brushes are all in their right spots.

Well I'm Yoongi hyungs side it's a little more of a mess and not as organized as his makeup and hair supplies clash together and his jewelry is messily pouring out of his jewelry box.

I walk over to the toilet which unfortunately is on Yoongi hyungs side, and I do my business.

After I flush I not so smartly decide to use the sink closet to me which is my messy hyungs. I start to wash my hands lathering the sope on my hands when my elbow hits a whole bunch of random hygiene supplies and they start to fall and roll into the sink and towards the edge.

Not wanting my hyungs to wake up I take my hands out of the sink and catch all the rolling items that had almost jumped off the high raised sink.

Bang

Crap.

Luckily both these hyungs are heavy sleepers.

I look down to see one shaving kit had fallen down causing broken razors, handles and shaving cream to flee all across the floor.

I quickly turn off the sink, messily wipe my hands on my pajama pants and crouch down picking up the fallen item's.

With out even thinking my hand stops over the broken razor that had thrown stray blades all across the floor. I pick up one of those stray blades and fall to my bum just silently observing the small object.

The small object that has done so much for me in the past. It had been their when I felt stressed, when I felt fat, when I felt ugly, when I let my hyungs or myself down, it was there every time I wasn't enough for myself.

It was there because I thought the pain I received from that was better than the pain eating away at my heart.

It was there because I was such a fuck up I deserved to be hurt.

It was there the last night I was a virgin that night I tried to make my heart stop beating.

But now I'm better.

Now I have my boyfriends who love me for more than my body. I have millions of fans who adore me. I have lived through the worst and now I'm free.

I smile to myself almost proud as I drop that blade back into the trash along with the other fallen ones, then I continue to pick up the mess.

Right as I'm almost done I hear the door open behind me, I turn  around to be met with my shirtless oldest hyung.

"Kookie? What are you doing on the flooor? And I woke up a little while ago what's taking so long?" Jin hyung said sleepily .

Sleepily that is until I see his eyes travel down to what I'm picking up and his eyes widened as I'm sure it looked like I was closing it like I was just done using it.

He quickly scurried over and grabbed the box out of my hands and threw it aside before kneeling down infront of me and lifting my long sleeves up only to reveal old scars noting new.

"Kook did you!?-" I cup the side of his panicked face and position it towards mine as I make deep eye contact.

"No hyung I didn't, in fact I picked it up...a blade! And I, I didn't even bring it close to my skin hyung!" I said happily and I saw Jins hyungs worried look then into a loving proud smile as he pulled me in for a hug on the bathroom floor.

Soon we were interrupted by a grouchy sleepy Yoongi hyung asking why we were up and Jin hyung was quick to explain what had happened causing Yoongis eyes to soffen and he smiled warmly joining the hug.

Jin used words the next morning like he's 'healed' or 'not depressed any more.' And although I was 1000x better I think Yoongi hyung knew that wasn't correct.

Because you never really lose depression It just gets better depression sticks with you the repeat of your life waiting to pounce at your most insecure moments.

But it gets better and you can control it, even if it will never leave you. But once that moment comes when you have a blade in your hands and you put it down with no blood on it, that shows you that you are now in control and not the blade.

That shows that I'm strong enough now that I have seen why I need to live,

I have six amazing boyfriends who all love me.

I have millions of army's around the world who would do anything for me.

I have a life worth living.

And I'm thankful I survived from myself and Jun-ho.

One last chap suckers.

Also I actually kinda tried with this chap which I haven't done in a while.
Now it's 2am so gn❤

-t.e.c.