What Dreams are Made of|| MAGICANIMALCLUB

Barely Standing

Squid's POV

I wasn't invited to the wedding.
Yes; I was aware that we barely even spoke, and that his fiancé quite frankly hated me.. but I didn't see him as my colleague, my rival or even a business partner.. I saw him as my friend, my old best friend.

After Stampy I had never really obtained a new 'partner'. Yes, Ash was a loyal substitute- but after attempting to seduce my now ex-girlfriend he was now a nobody to me.
Speedy? Jesus Christ no! Calling Nicole a slut in front of her and my faces I vowed to never speak to him again.
SB? Well, I never even learnt his first name. He was fun, I guess, but he's a Stampy-wannabe. I guess that's why I liked him.

Conclusively; I'm heart-broken for  several different reasons: the main one being that Nicole dumped me.
She said that it wasn't me it was her.. I told her to shut up with the cliché and to tell me what the hell was going on. She replied saying that I shouldn't treat her like that.. and then she walked in the door with another guy, thinking that I had already left to go to a convention in Manchester.
I could recall the look on that man's face, he felt guilty, but Nicole.. she didn't look different but she had changed. She had really changed.

I, of course, never told anybody this.
My parents? I told them we just had different plans. Of course they weren't satisfied with this answer, but I wanted them believing that I was okay... that I was stable and that we were on good terms. When in truth I was beginning to loath Nicole. And that she had been making videos about us breaking up, making it out that it was all my fault, lying to my followers. I didn't want to increase the fuss so I simply ignored her and asked (correction: paid) YouTube to take her video down.
I had never felt so cheated in my life.
And my ex-best-friend was getting married in a day and I wasn't even invited. What did he have against me? Dan TDM was going! They never had a series together! They never hung out together when they both were poor! They didn't grow together! They didn't even really know each other!
I was the one who asked him to record with me! I was the one who knew, as well as him, that we were partners. That we were amazing at recording together. And when we got those millions of views, when we became rich and famous... that's when I knew that we were going to go far together.
And look at me now.
I'm a mess.
I've taken to smoking, I'd never smoked.
I'm drinking, I'm doing all the typical 'depressed things' under the sun.
I'm messed up.
I miss him.
There. I said it.
I'm annoyed, I'm offended. I'm fucking offended. Okay?! I know I'm no better than most of his friends but I thought I was someone to him! I thought I meant something!
Doesn't he remember the laughs? Doesn't he remember the plans we had? Oh why did we have to ruin everything?! Why didn't we buy that house together? Why didn't we travel? Why didn't we just do what we wanted!
Regrets constantly spiral around my head. A kaleidoscope of dreams that I never made reality cascade around my clicking heart.
I miss him.
I miss him.
I'm angry.
I'm jealous.
I'm afraid.
I'm lonely.
Im just so fucking lonely.

And after submerging myself into bed and dusting the ashes of my last cigarette onto the stone floor, my high and drunken state of mind shut down and I fell asleep.

And I was in the car.
There was blood splattered across the smashed windscreen; my blood. My head was pounding, my neck felt fragile.
Help.. help... help...
Where am I.. what happened... what..
I heard the sirens in the distance. That relentless, chromatic, squawking scream.
Was it coming for me?
Was somebody coming to save me?
I didn't feel any pain, but I could see the dark grey thundering clouds above, and I was overwhelmed with anxious emotions. I knew I was stuck, I knew I was nearly dead.. but I had absolutely no idea where I was.
Then visions started to appear to me... and memories started to unfold.
Oh yes...
this is the part where I died.

..or is it?

Stampy's POV

The wedding was going to be small and conventional. No theme in particular, just a few good friends to make the night fun.
Neither Sqaishey or myself are great party-animals par say. In actual fact we are very introverted and prefer our own space. However I invited a few of my good YouTube friends to the wedding, making at least one table for 'the nerdy ones', people like Dan TDM and his wife, ThinkNoodles and his wife too, LD Shadowlady and her fiancé, StacyPlays of course too.
It suddenly dawned on me that I never invited any of the original 'magicanimalclub'. As in.. AmyLee (I couldn't.. she's technically my ex girlfriend, that would just be weird.) or Rosie, (never really spoke to her, she was more a friend of Amy's than mine) FinnBall, (well he lives in America, I was hardly expecting him to come all the way for a small British wedding, plus, I hardly speak to him) Squid... now that is a reason I can't bring myself to say, I can't even bring myself to think about it, because in the bottom of myself, deep down inside me, I know why I didn't invite him to the wedding.. but that knowledge would ruin me. And it's slowly ruining me even so.
We aren't friends anymore, that's what I keep telling myself. People grow apart, it's normal.
But I miss him.
There I said it.
I miss him.