A Series Of Events: The Carters

Life Is But A Dream

(If you have never seen the doc I put the YouTube link up above 👆🏾 1hr and a half of Beyoncé's inner thoughts .. get inspired!)

A/n: anything italicized is a direct quote from the doc.

"Guess what this is?" She asked referring to the blank CD she had in her hand.
"Your mixtape?" He asked seriously.
She giggled "Shut up Jay! Guess again."
"Sex tape?"
"Oh gosh" she shook her head.
"I'm stumped" he told his wife.
"It's the final edit of the doc!" She said excitedly.
"What it's actually finished?!" He asked surprised she'd been working on this documentary for years.
"Yeah I felt with Blue being born all the changes I went through in a year with management and being hands on in my career in a different way, the story is complete" she explained to him.
He nodded understandingly.
"Wanna watch it?"
"Of course I do, lemme pop some popcorn and get some wine, let's do this right change into something comfortable."
"Jay, really all that?"
"Yes it's called immersion" he said seriously.
She shook her head "Okay whatever you say."
She changed into one of his oversized T shirts and tied her hair up and went to meet her husband in their theatre room.

____________________________

"Okay I want the honest truth of what you think, if it's missing something if it's too short or too long, too sappy, anything just be honest" she warned him.
"Of course" he agreed.
She pressed play on the remote to start the documentary.
The first scene opened up with the camera panning across Beyoncé's childhood home and her talking about what it was like growing up there and how when she was younger, her dad would push her because he knew she was looking for his approval. Jay tried to not comment on the remarks she made about her father. They had never been able to see eye to eye and even to this day he's not sure if Matthew respects him. With all that being true, Jay would never say anything disrespectful about her father because he knows the way Beyoncé looked up to him especially when she was younger. Her father has done some things to be looked at differently but Jay knows deep down Beyoncé is still a daddy's girl. She also went on to talk about how she is learning she doesn't have to be so hard on herself and how she should to "smell the roses" more. Jay couldn't help but smile when he heard her say that. Being over critical of herself is something she's struggled with since he met her as a teen. She has always been one of the hardest working people he's ever known. In the next part she talked about how she felt it was time for her to step out on her own, take more risks in terms of her music sing about ANYTHING she felt like singing. More importantly she felt it was time to let go of her father as her manager. There was a scene where she's talking to her computer screen and she'd clearly been crying. She talked about how broken her relationship with her father was at that point and how it had a negative effect on her emotionally. Jay looked over and notice her shedding some tears.
"You okay baby?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said wiping her tears away. After deciding she would manage herself she said the next thing she had to decide was what she wanted for herself.
"Do you want radio success? Do you want to kiss asses? Do you want a career? Do you want to focus on your life what do you want?"
"That's my baby being a boss" Jay clapped enjoying that quote from the documentary.
She chuckled shaking her head
"Shhhh!" She hushed him playfully.
"Stop pretending that I have it all together and if I'm scared be scared .. Allow it, release it , move on .. I think I need to go listen to Make Love To Me and go make love to my husband."
"Well I did my job that night" Jay smirked.
"Yeah I guess I got what I asked for" she chuckled.
She went on to talk about how the Billboard Awards performance was the first performance she did knowing she was pregnant. Also it was her first performance since she started managing herself. Like many of her performances even with all the time she gave herself to rehearse there was road blocks they ran into along the way and by the time the award show rolled around she didn't feel prepared.
"I can't believe I pulled that off literally everything that could've went wrong did."
A few scenes later she talked about her miscarriage and everything surrounding her pregnancy with Blue. That caught Jay off guard she wasn't the type to address rumors publicly. It must've took a lot for her to put that in there.
Jay grabbed her hand and kissed it. That made her crack a smile. That scene was tough for both of them to watch.
The mood lightened when they got to the part where she revealed she was pregnant at the VMAs.
"I don't know who was happier you or Ye" she joked.
"Definitely Ye" Jay laughed.
There was some clips of various cute moments caught on camera after that scene. Them singing Coldplay's Yellow to each other. Beyoncé giving a speech for Jay's birthday around a year before he would ask her to marry him.
"Damn you showing other sides of me" he chuckled uncomfortably.
"Just a little something there was more I could've put in there but I didn't want you cringing through the whole doc" she laughed.
They were coming to the end of the documentary now. She was speaking about how she was in her final stages of her pregnancy and how it would be her last couple of weeks where her sole responsibility is taking care of herself.
"My baby was born out of a conflict in my life and that struggle had to be settled if I wouldn't have gone through the pain, if I hadn't gone down the path I'd probably be touring right now or shooting videos or editing a TV special. There's no drumroll or trumpet that goes off when you make the biggest decision in your life sometimes; you don't even know that you've made 'em." 
After that the camera pans up then down a tall tree the grass begins to change colors, it turns blue. You can hear Blue faintly crying before the camera cuts to her in her mother's arms.
"Look at my baby looking all worried and confused" Jay pointed out.

"She was not here for the cameras at all" Beyoncé agreed.
"Just like her pops" Jay said proudly.
"I believe everything in our life, every person in our life every relationship;everything is there for a reason and when you really pay attention little clues we get it's so crystal clear what the next step is. It's just this puzzle and everything is in its right place and as we grow we take the next step the dots get connected and we eventually, become what we're supposed to be."
That was the end of the documentary.
"Wow" He was almost speechless.
"You like it?" She asked.
"Wow" he repeated.
"I'll take that as a yes" she giggled.
"You're gonna surprise a lot of people with this Bey."
"Now that the final edit is done it's real now the next step is putting it out, I'm terrified" she said honestly.
"It must be scary to put out something so personal, I kinda felt the same way about decoded but when I did put it out it felt good like a weight lifted off me."
She nodded understanding where he was coming from completely.
"And besides I'll be with you at the premiere being a proud husband and probably cringing at my singing."

Requested by deitrajackson