why don't we ⇒ sickfics

Zach - Anorexia

for user65172321

[Warning, could be potentially triggering, mentions of eating disorder and body shaming]

Zach had always tried to be a strong kid. Even when he was younger, he was the oldest kid and he was expected to watch over Ryan and Reese. Zach was a kid at heart, but he still could be responsible when he needed to be.

When he moved to LA to live with his new band mates at 15, it was a rough transition, but Zach tried to be strong. He was the baby of the group, but that didn't mean he wanted to be treated like a little kid. 

He didn't know exactly when it started, but Zach had always known he wasn't happy with his body. Everywhere he looked, Zach saw things telling him that men had to be fit and slim and not fat.

The problem was, whenever Zach looked in the mirror, all he could see was...well fat. 

It wasn't till now he decided to do something about it. 

-

"ZACH!" 

Zach jumped, snapping back into reality. He had been so out of it he hadn't heard the pounding on the bathroom door till the yelling started.

"Just a second!" He called back. Zach took one last long look at his stomach. There was no change since the last time he'd looked. He needed to step up on his 'diet'.

"Zach I swear to god!" Jack's complaining outside made him finally put his shirt back on and get ready to leave, "I HaVe tO PEE." Zach opened the door to see Jack standing there, his face flushed.

"Finally!" Jack pushed past him and ran into the tour bus bathroom. Zach laughed and continued on to the back lounge. 

Jonah sat reading, you guessed it, Harry Potter. He looked up from the book as Zach walked in.

"Hey Z." 

"Hey Jonah," Zach looked around, "Where are Daniel and Bean?"

"They went to get lunch," Jonah said, his focus now back on the book in front of him, "Chipotle ok?"

"Always." Zach lied. The idea of eating anything made him feel fat and greedy. But as long as he pretended nothing was different, the boys wouldn't worry. Deep down, Zach knew the fact that he was hiding his 'diet' from the boys was a sign that he was doing something wrong. Too focused on being skinny, Zach ignored it.

Soon Jack joined them, holding a bag of Goldfish. Jonah shook his head disapprovingly, "We're literally about to eat lunch."

The curly hair boy shrugged and ate another handful, "What? I'm hungry!"

Zach tried to look anywhere but the food in Jack's hands. He could feel his stomach about to rumble. He was not hungry. He didn't need to be eating.

"Z you ok?"

Zach blinked and looked at Jonah in confusion. "You looked like you were thinking about something bad." He explained with concern in his voice.

"Zach thinking is never a good thing." Jack joked. 

"I'm fine Jo." Zach plastered on a smile and Jonah seemed to buy it.

Commotion at the tour bus doors brought the boys attention to the front. Daniel and Corbyn stumbled in, their arms loaded with food.

"Now we feast!" Corbyn exclaimed as they dumped all the food onto the front table.

Zach lagged behind as Jonah and Jack ran up to join the boys. Somehow he had to get away without eating. Suddenly Zach thought of a plan.

Daniel handed Zach a burrito. Zach grabbed a handful of napkins and the boys sat down to eat. A conversation started up but Zach focused on the task in front of him.