Memories Of Love (Sequel Call Me Monster)

Chapter 11

Kyungsoo

I was sitting on the edge of Jongdae's bed while Baekhyun nervously walked around the room, looking at everything but me. "He sure is taking long," he mumbled.

I stretched my legs out in front of me and let out a heavy sigh. I didn't know what to say to Baekhyun and he didn't seem to be eager to talk to me either. It felt like there was a huge gap between us that someone could close by simply saying something directly to the other. But no one did, both scared and the silence was suffocating me. "Yeah."

"I didn't think you'd come," Baekhyun sounded like he was admitting something. It was like he was tired of holding onto something and finally gave in. "I still don't understand why."

I turned to him and noticed he was looking down at a book he had taken off the shelf. "Jongin texted me to come and I want to find out why." 

"It can't be anything good," he spoke with a frown and added, "you know that." 

"I do." 

Baekhyun put the book back in its place and looked at me for the first time. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" 

I blinked in surprise. "Do what?" 

"Go there and watch him," he clarified. "It's torture cause he will be having fun and dance with girls cause that is Jongin."

I felt my hands tighten into fists, but told myself to relax. "You don't know him. You have no idea how it is."

Baekhyun bit his lip and nodded. "You are right. I don't."

"You act like you know him, but all you ever did was hate him." I continued while standing up. "He's not like that."

"I act like that because he hurt you," Baekhyun defended himself. "Wake up Kyungsoo, he doesn't have any other feelings for you than disgust!" 

I felt the tears burn behind my eyes out of anger and pain. "Shut up," I whispered. "Shut up!"

The door was opened by Chanyeol and Jongdae walked in behind him. "Guys," the tall guy spoke. "Stop this."

"I don't want to go to the party with Kyungsoo," Baekhyun began. "Not if he's still acting stubborn and thinks Jongin still cares."

"That's enough," Chanyeol announced and headed over to Baekhyun to take him by the arm. "We're going alone."

Jongdae and I didn't say anything as we watched the two leave. As soon as the door was being closed again I bursted out in tears and hid my face behind my hands. Jongdae embraced me in a tight hug. "Baek doesn't understand and is just hurt. He doesn't mean it."

"No." I pushed him away gently before wiping away the tears. "He means everything he says and maybe he is right."

Jongdae shook his head. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, but he pushed me to sit on the bed and smiled down at me. 

"Let's forget it for now. I'll do your hair." He crawled onto the bed to sit behind me and started raking his fingers through my hair. "No one will recognise you after I'm done with you."

~

"Are you ready?" Jongdae asked as we stood outside the house. "We can still go back."

I looked up at the building and wondered if the pounding was the beat of the music or my own heartbeat. I had to be strong. Jongin shouldn't have that effect on my life. I shouldn't be spying on him, but letting go. "I need to do this."

"I understand." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "I am right beside you." 

"I know." I started walking towards the house before I didn't have the courage anymore and took a deep breath in through my nose. "Thank you."

My confidence disappeared immediately when Jongdae opened the door and the light and music hit me like a wave of fear. People I had only ever seen their faces of where everywhere. Dancing, drinking and talking. It was overwhelming and I felt my feet moving out of themselves to turn around.

Just as I was about to push Jongdae back through the door, Chanyeol noticed us and headed over. "You made it." 

He sounded relieved for a reason I didn't understand. He looked me up and down and grinned at me. "You look great. If I were you, I'd watch out." 

I didn't get what he meant but Jongdae put a protective hand on my arm. "Not happening."

"Where's Baekhyun?" I asked when I didn't see the small guy.

Chanyeol's face dropped. "I don't know."

"If he is doing some stupid shit I swear I will kill him for you," Jongdae spoke angrily. "He's acting so weird lately."

"Let's talk about something else," Chanyeol suggested. "Let's get a drink." 

We agreed and I let them lead me through the room towards the kitchen were we could grab a beer. I wasn't one to drink a lot of alcohol, but when I was together with Jongin we often would sneak out of his bedroom window to sit on the roof of the garden house and drink out of the bottle he had stolen from his dad's cabinet. Sometimes those moments had felt more intimate than when we had shared the same bed. When Jongin was drinking and looking up at the stars he became as open as he could, telling me about his dreams and fears. 

I accepted the drink and swallowed thickly while thinking back at how it felt to kiss Jongin when the taste of alcohol lingered on his lips. I was the only one who knew how broken he was and I liked to believe I was his cure. Kissing the problems away with my presence. 

I would give a lot to just be able to walk up to Jongin and hug him, feeling his strong arms around me while I breathed in his muscular scent. I didn't realise I was staring off into the distance until Chanyeol waved his hand in front of me. "You there?"

I nodded. "Sorry."

"I'm gonna see if I can find Baekhyun, okay?" Chanyeol put his empty bottle down and looked at me, waiting for my reply.

"Sure, go ahead." I took a big gulp and felt the bitterness fill my throat, welcoming the softly burning sensation. "Let's walk around?" I suggested.

"Yeah, let's do that." Jongdae agreed and pulled me out of the kitchen to the living room. It  was a massive mansion and I wondered who it was from. It must be a rich kid. 

I squealed out of surprise as I felt a hand slap my butt and giving it a firm squeeze. "Looking good, boy." 

I turned around to a handsome face and started blushing, feeling very aware of wearing tight jeans. "Oh ehm... thanks." 

"You are cute." He let out a deep chuckle. "You single?"

This question brought more heat up to my cheeks. "No... yeah... well, it's complicated."

He laughed. "Seems like it." 

A familiar voice filled my ears and stole my attention away. I looked into the direction it came from and saw Jongin sitting on a couch. A girl that wasn't afraid to show off her curves sat on top of him, straddling his hips while his hands were resting on her ass. She was kissing his neck and he was saying things I couldn't hear clearly.

It was like all the air was knocked out of my lungs at once and I felt like I was drowning. My vision got blurry and I quickly turned around and pushed past the guy to find the exit. People stared at me like I was crazy as I bumped into them and stumbled on, finally reaching the door. The tears were already burning in my eyes and sliding over my cheeks as I swung it open, running outside.

Before I could make it to the sidewalk a hand grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.