Memories Of Love (Sequel Call Me Monster)

Chapter 29

Jongin

What the hell am I doing?  That was what I was thinking as I stepped onto the backrest of the small bench. It probably was never used and looked as if it could break any second. I reached out, but had to put my foot in a spot where one of the bricks had crumbled, to grab the roof gutter. I could have just rang the bell and gone through the door, however I had heard yelling coming out of the house and a door slamming so I figured it would be better to only see Kyungsoo. I pulled myself high enough to be able to hold onto something stronger at the window. The curtains were pulled aside to let the last bit of sunshine in, colouring the room in a yellow light. At first I thought Kyungsoo wasn't in his room until he raised from his bed, taking off his shirt. I almost lost my balance, hitting the gutter in the process. Kyungsoo looked up from the noise and immediately moved to the window, opening it and nearly hitting me in the face. 

"What the heck Jongin?" He breathed out. 

"I wanted to see you," I tried to explain, knowing how ridiculous this was.

His thick eyebrows knitted. "Why not through the front door?"

I felt my cheeks flush and wondered if he was gonna let me hang here. "I heard you guys arguing."

Kyungsoo seemed to remember he wasn't wearing a shirt and quickly moved to pick another one off his bed, making room for me to climb inside. "Why are you really here?"

I stared at his bare back that was soon covered, not knowing if what I was about to do was the right thing. "To be honest, your mother came to me."

He turned around with a confused expression. "Why would she do that?"

"Because she knows the truth and loves you." I answered.

Kyungsoo was obviously not satisfied with my answer and I realised I might have caught him in a bad mood. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned to look at the window.

"She doesn't want to see you hurt," I added.

"So what does she want you to do?" He asked in a challenging tone. "Spend time with me?"

"Not exactly..."

"Then you can leave."

I was taken aback by his cold answer and blinked. "Why?"

Kyungsoo averted his gaze to me. "You feel sorry for me or something? Am I someone that you'll give attention when someone asks you to?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I replied while moving closer. "And you are not."

"I have homework to do." He took a step back, away from me, making clear that he didn't want to talk further.

I ruffled my hair in frustration. "She saw how hurt you was."

His eyes flickered with confusion. "Do you pity me?" As I didn't reply he continued with snapping. "Cause I don't need it. You are the one who fell and hit his head probably because you are an asshole!"

Those words definitely surprised me and somewhere in my chest a pain welled up. "I... I thought we were actually going well."

"I don't know Jongin, you seem to fuck up everyone's life." Kyungsoo scrunched up his face. "It seems like everyone had a valid reason to hurt you and I can't even blame them."

Something inside me cracked and I didn't dare to look at his eyes. It hurt. The worst was that he was probably right. He was an asshole and deserved what he got. What was he thinking? That his good looks would get him everywhere in life? That he could just mess up and then get back expecting people to just forgive him? He had been stupid. So stupid. And it hurt. 

My hand reached for my chest and came back in a different colour. I squinted my eyes and stared down at the red liquid. Was he imagine things? I looked up and saw the look on Kyungsoo's face changing to worry. He moved forward as I moved downwards. It took me a moment to realise I had fallen to my knees. 

Jongdae

I opened my locker, half expecting a piece of paper to fall out, but there was nothing. I sighed in relief. I still hoped Xiumin would just disappear and I could go back to acting like nothing had happened and go on with my life. After the incident he had left me alone and I thought he might have understood I didn't want to talk to him. Luck wasn't on my side. The small guy was walking through the groups of people. Even though he didn't look at me, it was obvious he had a goal. It was written on his determined face. I took a deep breath and started putting some books into my bag. 

"Hey," the familiar voice greeted, strangely insecure. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," I lied, still not facing him. 

"You are always hungry." 

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Xiumin was bringing up memories I didn't want to think about, but I couldn't let them go. "What's that supposed to mean huh?" 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, not having expected me to actually look at him. 

"You gonna call me fat again?" I snarled. "Oh my bad, you never said that. You were the one emptying his plate onto my pants." 

Xiumin's eyes widened and a blush started creeping up from his neck. A few people had stopped walking to see who was making a fuss. "Chen please."

"Please what?" I continued. "Stop telling the truth?"

"No." He said. "I just wish we could do this privately."

I clenched my fists at my sides. "What do I have to do or say to show you I don't want to talk to you? When is that gonna get through to your brain?!" 

I was furious and not even ashamed to be yelling while the hall was filled with students. "I moved on okay?" 

The color drained out of his face. "What do you mean?"

"I don't love you anymore Xiumin," I spoke bitterly. "I like someone else."

"Oh really?" He huffed. "Who?"

I crossed my arms, hoping it would make me look more unwavering. "Sehun."

Xiumin's expression closed up, not wanting me to see how he felt about it. Satisfied with myself I grabbed my bag off the floor and turned around, bumping right into a body. My smile faded as I stared back into Sehun's eyes.