Memories Of Love (Sequel Call Me Monster)

Chapter 32

Jongdae

The cold from the stone at my back started seeping through my light jacket as I sighed deeply. I was still not a hundred percent sure about this, but I knew I couldn't go back anymore. I had to follow my heart. 

A cough pulled me away from my thoughts and I looked up at a familiar face. "Hey," Xiumin greeted me, before sitting down next to me. "What are you looking at?"

I stared at the green grass of the park and sighed again. "It seems so peaceful."

"Few things are." He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them. 

"I guess you are right."

"So why did you want to see me?" Xiumin questioned.

"I wanted to talk to you," I started. "About us."

"I thought there was no 'us'," he pointed out with a frown. "You made that clear. Very clear."

I considered telling him the whole truth, but ended up saying. "I don't think I meant what I said about Sehun."

At this, Xiumin turned to me in shock. "Did you say that just to hurt me or something?"

"No!" I protested. "I really thought I did. In the end I was wrong."

"That's what you wanted to tell me in person?" He inquired.

I shook my head. "I want you to know that I will give you another chance."

Jongin

"Are you sure?" Kyungsoo asked for the nineth time. "We can just get a ride."

"Nope," I objected. "I insist."

Kyungsoo sighed but picked up one of the two plastic bags and slung it over his shoulder. "If you say so."

I nodded. "I need the fresh air."

"We could open a window," Kyungsoo suggested.

I wasn't sure if it was a joke or meant seriously. I turned my head and shot him a meaningful look. He raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine."

"Why do you sound like you are against it?" I wondered out lout.

"I am not against it," Kyungsoo objected. "I just want you to be healthy enough and not collapse on me again." 

I placed my hand briefly on his lower back to lead him out of the room before closing the door. "That won't happen. I promise. I have been in this stupid place for too long. I need it."

Kyungsoo nodded. "I get it."

We both went quiet and I wondered if I should break the silence or not. After the warmth of the hospital, it was a relief to feel the cold wind outside. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, shivered slightly, but it wasn't from the weather. I saw it in his face. I smiled down at him, trying to make him feel more at ease. He looked ahead of the road, his eyes half-lidded. His long lashes feathering on his cheekbones. He was angelic. 

Kyungsoo walked beside of me in a soft pace. "I want to ask you something." He declared. 

I wondered why he said it like that. Kyungsoo was someone who'd first ask it if he could ask a question, but who was I to know that about him?

He turned his head, awaiting my reply, then decided to go for it. "What's going on inside of your head right now?"

I frowned. "What exactly do you mean?"

"How do you feel?" Kyungsoo changed the question.

I slowed down, reality hitting me in the face. I opened my mouth, hesitated, but then spoke. "I don't know. I don't feel anything."

Kyungsoo bit his bottom lip and moved to grab my hand, giving it a squeeze. "How about now?"

I looked up at him. His dark orbs were shimmering, full of expectation. As I didn't say a word he started pulling away. As on cue, I took a hold of his slender hand before it could slip away. "I do feel something," I whispered. 

Kyungsoo's face lit up. "What?"

I inched closer, feeling like the air was slowly being dragged out of me. I cupped the side of his head in my free hand and softly brushed my lips against his. Even though it was a soft kiss, it still tingled in my whole body. I gently pulled away and exhaled.

A slight smile appeared on Kyungsoo's lips as his face blurred into my mother's. "You don't have to pretend in front of me darling," she spoke. "I know you are strong, but there's no reason to lie."

"I just want everything to be easier," I heard myself say.

"We all wish that."

An image of a text from my father flashed across my eyes and anger grew inside of me. "Why does everyone think they can make decisions behind my back?" Cold ran up my body and my lungs gasped for air. I touched my face and wondered if it was tear-stained or wet from the rain. I raised my head and stared at the dark bridge in front of me. A face hidden in the shadows, snapping at me. "I still don't trust you and never will."

"Jongin?" A voice spoke, tinted with worry. 

For a moment I thought nothing had changed, but then the bridge was in bright daylight. I blinked in confusion as I stared at the figure leaning on the wooden railing. "You," I whispered. 

"Who?" Kyungsoo asked, not understanding. 

Without answering I strode over to the person and eyed him. "It was you."

"What are you doing here Sehun?" Kyungsoo had caught up on me with a puzzled expression. "What are you talking about?"

Sehun turned to me and I noticed his pained expression. "Right here," I continued. "That day." 

"Sehun," Kyungsoo now urged. "What is he talking about?"

"Why?" I asked him. That had been a question that had been in my mind ever since I realized there had been someone with me that day. 

"You know why," Sehun finally spoke. "You remember."

Kyungsoo's mouth fell open. "No," he muttered. "It can't be you. You helped me when I was trying to figure out who it could have been. You even put Xiumin forward as a suspect!"

Sehun closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. "It never was my intention to hurt him. I care about you. You are my friend and before that I already did."

"You... you ruined everything." Kyungsoo had trouble holding his tears back from all the anger and pain he felt. "You betrayed me."

"I did," he admitted. "I blew it all." 

And with those words stuck in the air, everyone left with a heavy heart. Not wanting to stay there any longer. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello,

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year!
I can't tell you how sorry I am for not publishing. Again. I know I say it all the time, but I do mean it. My life has been better lately but also not. There have been some issues that I hope will work out this year.
I keep disappointing you guys and I am sorry for it. But I do promise I will finish this book and try my best to publish regulary.

Love y'all