Memories Of Love (Sequel Call Me Monster)

Chapter 20

Kyungsoo

"So you want me to help you remember?" I asked, making sure I had understood. "Why?"

"Because my mother says you were a big part of it." Jongin leaned closer and wiped the cloth under my nose. "I just want to know the truth."

"I gave it to you, but you wouldn't believe me." I hissed as he touched the wound.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I can't believe what everything's saying to me. They lied."

"I get it, but what do you want me to do?" I watched how he put the cloth in the small bowl of water.

Jongin looked up at me and brought it back to my face. "Go places we went together, do things we did together, I don't know. Something."

I nodded but groaned from the movement. "Okay."

"I remember some small things, but I need more." He took my chin between his finger to make sure my head was still as he finished cleaning my face. "Will you try?"

I blinked as I stared at him. "Of course I will. I want you back."

Jongin licked his lips and turned his face away, clearly not knowing how to act. Apparently he was a well-known visitor of the cafe we were at now. It was the same place where he had asked me to be his boyfriend. He had brought me here and when they saw my bloody face they immediately asked if they could help.

"You want something else to drink?" Jongin asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

"No, thanks." I pressed my hand against my stomach before lifting my shirt up a bit to see a bruise.

"You okay?" He looked at me with a worried expression.

"I'm fine." I have never been someone that would show everyone my wounds but it was even harder to show my pain in front of this Jongin.

"You seem like someone who would always say that." He flashed me a lopsided grin while pouring some alcohol out of his bottle into my cup. "Drink up."

I gulped it down in almost one shot and welcomed the burning sensation. "Isn't it too early to drink?"

"It's never too early to numb something." Jongin took a swig from his own drink and chuckled. "Have you ever skipped class?"

"Maybe. I don't recall." I shrugged and started playing with the glass in my hands. "I'm gonna get in trouble."

"Not with that face." He pointed at me. "I've seen worse tho."

"I had worse."  

"I'm sure of it."

I stared at him as he looked down at the table. Most bruises and scars had faded a little, but there were a lot of white stripes covering his skin. Some would probably stay for a very long time. "Why did you say that to Suho?"

He looked up and our eyes met before he averted his gaze. "I might be an asshole, but I don't like beating people up."

"It wasn't just about people getting physically hurt." I placed my palms flat on the wood. "It was more."

Jongin seemed to feel a bit uncomfortable as he ran his finger over the top of the bottle. "After what my mother said, I had the feeling I should protect you."

When I kept staring at him he continued. "Look, I have these memories of you, but they don't feel like mine. It's like I am watching short video's of someone else."

"You are already in one of our memories, Jongin." Somehow his name tasted weird in my mouth, but I ignored it.

"I asked you to be my boyfriend here." It wasn't a question and Jongin was staring off into the distance. I wondered if he had meant to say it out loud.

"You know." My heart started beating faster as hope filled my head. I wanted him to love me again so badly it hurt.

"It's the only thing I remember from here."

I nodded, letting his answer sink in. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" He asked back.

"About Suho and Lay." I clarified myself.

Jongin pushed the small bowl with water away over the table before answering. "Not long. Is that why he did this?"

I nodded. "Did you find out?"

"He told me."

"Wait, what?" My voice sounded less surprised than I actually was. "He trusts you that much?"

"I don't think so." Jongin started to fold a napkin. "It was a heavy secret I guess and he had to get it of his chest."

"What did you tell him?" I asked curiously.

"I confronted him about the lying." He replied. "But I don't think he told me the truth."

"I can't believe he bullied me for years while he has the same feelings." I bit my lip and leaned back to look up at the ceiling. "What an asshole."

"He's insecure." Jongin placed the crane he had made from the napkin on the table and studied it.

"I have been feeling insecure more times than he will ever be." I scoffed. "That's no reason to beat me up. Again."

Jongin shove his creation towards me. "I am not saying that it's okay. He's just afraid that he will end up being humiliated by someone similar to him."

"You don't consider yourself similar to him?" I blurted out, thinking about the times he and Suho were exactly the same.

Jongin opened his mouth, but closed it again like he didn't know what to say.

As I noticed his uncomfortable behaviour I decided to act like I never said it. "Maybe that's exactly what I will make him go through."

"Are you gonna reveal his secret?" His expression was hard to read, but his fingers tapped almost nervously on the table. "Don't you wanna keep the control?"

I lifted one eyebrow while looking at him. "What for?"

Jongin leaned closer like he was gonna tell me something no one else in the cafe could know. "When Suho is pushed into a corner he will do anything to get to safety. He will run you down if that's what it takes. Do you want to start a fire and see how it's been put out in a short time? Or do you want a fire that starts of small and grows for weeks until you finally throw gasoline on it for the long awaited final?"

I stared at him, wondering where the hate in his eyes came from. "I thought you two were friends."

His eyes turned dark. "You know what's worse than not knowing what happened?" He didn't wait for my reply as he answered himself. "Not being able to trust the people you thought you could."

"I get it, but what am I supposed to do?"

Jongin stood up and put on his jacket before picking up the crane. "Make him sweat." He took my hand and placed the napkin bird on my palm. "And I will protect you."