Impossible Love// Ryden ***Completed***

Chapter 18

"You can see him now." A nurse smiles. I give him a weak smile and walk in. He isn't awake yet. Still sleeping. With at least ten different needles on him. The room is unpleasantly silent, except for the beeping of the machines. 

"Hi, Bren," I whisper. "I know you can hear me." 

The faint beeps of the machine fill my ears. "I hope you're doing alright." 

The beeps turn into the boom of a gunshot. In my eyes, I see him getting shot again. 

"Do you remember the time we met?" I ask with a short laugh. 

"Brendon Urie, pleased to meet you." He puts his hand out. I shake it.
"Ryan Ross. I'm new." I say.   

My vision blurs. "I'm so... So thankful you said 'hello' that day." I choke on a sob. So close to breaking. 

"Life was so much easier for you until I came along," I whisper. Barely holding it together. The last time I felt like this was when I was waiting for Jon to wake up. He never did. 

"I would go back in time... And tell you I- I love you." I barely choke out before emotion overflows. "But now... Here I am telling you, while you're unconscious and can't even hear me." I take a deep breath. "Everyone told me, told me I should confront you. But I was too chicken to do it." I laugh. "I can dodge bullets. I can jump 20 stories without a second thought. But I can't admit I like someone." I grab his hand. "Truth is... I love you." I laugh, but it feels like pain shooting through my throat. "Goddamnit, I love you!" I cry. 

I wait. Hoping for a response. But it doesn't come. I'm left in only beeps of a goddamn machine. 

"I remember the time you lied to me. Dallon came over and started yelling. I heard you. What a beautiful excuse. That same night, you complimented something that was terrible. I remember you were too afraid to ask the question. But so was I." I smile at the memory. "Dallon was right. We should live life as if it's the last day." 

I stare at him. He managed to cut his arm. Probably from diving to take cover. "You hurt yourself." I point out. I trace my finger on his wound. He was shot in the chest. A fraction of an inch away from his heart. 

Lucky to be alive.

"I'll get him." I say. "Frank won't live to see next week." I close my eyes squeezing his hand. 

"Ryan?" A voice asks slowly. My head shoots up and looks at the door. I see Dallon. "Why are you here?" 

"Why wouldn't I?" I sigh. "You know how Brendon likes me?" I ask. He nods. "I like him too. The night we went to the carnival... Certain words were said."

"Oh. I was right... Ryden is real." He mutters. His own humor isn't enough to make him smile. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Brendon's been my best friend since forever." He whispers. We stay silent for a while. "I should go." He says. "You staying?" He asks. I nod. "I'll tell everyone." He answers. He gets up and leaves. 

I turn back to Brendon. "It's officially been a week since you admitted to me... That you like me." I say, looking at my watch. I stand up and plant a kiss on his forehead. "I'll be right back," I say. I let go of his hand and walk out the door. Walking to the coffee makers. I buy one. Slowly sipping it. 

"Sad day?" Someone asks. I turn around. 

"Yeah. Why are you here?" 

"Boyfriend in a car accident, you?" 

"My boyfriend got shot." 

"Boyfriend?" She asks, raising an eyebrow, she smiles. "I'm kidding. One of my best friends is gay. I could care less." She sips her coffee. "I'm Nicole." She uses her free hand to shake mine. 

"Ryan." I smile too. A weak one, but it's progress. "I hope your boyfriend makes it," I say calmly. 

"I hope your boyfriend makes it too." She looks at her watch and waves goodbye before leaving. 

I decide to finish my coffee in the room. I walk back to the room, but before even opening the door, I hear people talking in the room. 

"Where's Ryan? Is he okay? Where's Ryan?" 

"I'm sure he's alright, I just need to ask you some questions." 

"No! Where's Ryan!?" 

I open the door and race in. "Bren, it's okay, I'm right here." I put my coffee down and grab his hand. "Answer the questions please," I whisper. He nods. 

~~~

"Thank god." I sigh after the lady leaves. "I was so worried."  

"Are you okay? You were bleeding." He asks. 

He's worried about me? He was literally shot in a chest. 

"Just a shot to the shoulder," I whisper. "You were about to d-" I can't even utter the words. 

"I know." He rests his hand on mine. "Here." He scoots over, making room on the hospital bed. He pats the space next to him. I smile and sit. Slowly lowering, laying next to him. He stares at me. 

"Tell me what else is bothering you." He says, looking into my eyes. 

"Gerard was killed too." I blurt out. 

"WHAT?!" He screeches. "He wasn't even with us!" 

"He found out, and at that same time, Mikey and I showed up. He held Gerard right in front of us. Right in front of Mikey, and shot him in the head." 

"Mikey- Is h-he-?" 

"No." I shake my head. "It was so bad. Mikey dove for Gerard, and I just stood there, stunned like an idiot. Frank got away. Blood everywhere." 

"It's okay." He lays his head on my shoulder. 

"Pete, Spencer, and Sarah... T-They didn't..." 

"It's not your fault." He whispers. "It's Frank's." 

"It's getting harder to believe that," I answer. "I feel like- the world is putting pressure on us until we break... A truth is- I already broke. It feels like it at least..." 

"Ry- Everyone is broken. Everyone broke. I know for a fact that everything that happened is not your fault. But your mind is telling you that you're guilty. That's just who you are." He plants a light kiss on my cheek. 

A/N

Hi, sorry for the wait, but ahhhhahahahha dramatic chapter for THANKSGIVING! 

Also note, I wrote this whilst listening to The Light Behind Your Eyes on repeat soooooo. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, because Thanksgiving is kinda celebrating the one day invaders didn't slaughter people... Well... Hope you're having a splendid day!

:)

~Lunar