"Sometimes, silence could mean a yes too."
Taeyeon doesnt know what to feel really. She doesnt know if she should be annoyed, nervous, scared or awkward cause she thinks she was feeling it all at the same time. She's annoyed cause she was in a four-seat dinning table which is supposed to be only for two, nervous cause she was sitting in between the girls whom has both importance in her life and means a lot to her heart, scared cause she doesnt know how she'll act around the two girls and awkward cause with them was the man who stole her first love from her, occasionally being sweet with Tiffany. And truth be told, it infuriates the hell out of her.
Its supposed to be a dinner date only for her and her girlfriend Jan after a long day of not being together, but it turned out as one hell of a dinner when they were joined in by the other couple. She was also surprised to see Tiffany and Nichkhun there at the restaurant she reserved herself. And being unable to avoid dining with them which Nichkhun greatly insisted for them to have dinner together with the reason that he and Taeyeon never had the chance to get to know each other personally, she's his girlfriend's bestfriend so its only right for him to get close to her, Taeyeon had no choice but to accept the invitation and deal with the couple.
"I heard their turkey was the best around here." Nichkhun complemented as the waiter gave them the menu folders.
"I dont feel like eating turkey tonight. I want something spicy, you want to eat spicy too Taeyeon, right?" Taeyeon snapped when she heard Tiffany asked but the latter didnt take her eyes off the menu.
"Ahh yes, but Jan doesnt want to eat anything spicy tonight, right?" She asked her girlfriend who nodded.
"What about some steak baby?" Nichkhun queried. Tiffany's eyes darted to Taeyeon who was just sitting on her right.
"I dont want to have any meat tonight." Her voice was so low, so weak and Taeyeon thought if she too was feeling awkward with the situation.
"Jan and I will have steak." Taeyeon said smiling at her girlfriend. "You want steak right?" Jan only nodded.
Tiffany felt annoyed seeing how Taeyeon was only paying attention to Jan, and so she had let Nichkhun decide what theyre going to eat and went to the ladies room.
"So Jan, how do you find Korea?" He started a conversation.
Jan smiled at her girlfriend before answering."Its okay. Ive got all I needed here." Taeyeon gulped knowing exactly what or who the younger girl was referring to.
"Ive heard you two did a commercial back in Thailand. We were on that same flight right?" He turned to Taeyeon who nodded. "That's how we started. That commercial shoot made us closer." She replied.
When Tiffany came, Taeyeon could feel the ambiance between them became thick again and she felt she was not having enough air to breathe.
"Are you okay?" Jan whispered to her. "Yeah Im fine." She whispered back.
Tiffany even got annoyed with the sweetness the two had been displaying and moreso when she saw the food Nichkhun had ordered for her. She wasnt in any mood to eat fish or rather she wasnt in any mood for anything when Taeyeon and Jan is just right in front of her.
"Are you alright?" Nichkhun asked her and she answered back, holding his cheeks intentionally, "Im okay baby. Just that you know I dont really like fish that much."
"Ohh Im sorry baby I forgot."
"We can switch, I mean I dont mind having some fish." Their heads snapped at Taeyeon who already switched hers and Tiffany's plate.
"You like fish right Jan?" Taeyeon asked and the younger girl nodded. Again, Tiffany's blood boiled on the slight show of affection.
They started eating in between conversation about their recent concert, and their upcoming activities. Jan remained silent throughout the meal and only talks when she was asked.
"Are you two together?" It was a sudden question Nichkhun cant help asking. He's been noticing the sweet ambiance between his girlfriend's bestfriend and the younger girl, not to mention the two had been feeding each other since they started eating. "Ohh Im sorry if I offended you, just that you two are more sweeter than me and Tiff." He joked trying to lighten the mood when she saw how Taeyeon's face changed and the meat that Jan was trying to feed to her fell on her lap.
Taeyeon gave out a nervous laugh, "No, offense taken." She was about to reach for the meet but two hands was already on her lap, and she knew so well that the other hand wasnt supposed to be there.
"Thanks Tiff, I already got it." Jan said smiling, and as if she got embarrassed, Tiffany retracted her hand and wiped it on her napkin.
Nichkhun's thick brows were squeezed on his nosebridge, wondering why his girlfriend was acting a bit strange. "Baby, are you sure youre okay?" Again, Tiffany only nodded.
"Well.." Taeyeon started as she wiped her clothes that was stained by the piece of steak. "Jan is.. she's my.." she thought about it hard. She was thinking if she should tell him. Its not his business to know but Taeyeon had this urge to tell him, to see if how Tiffany would react if she tell someone out of their member's circle and most specially her boyfriend that she's gay and the girl with them is her girlfriend. And even to tell that she had been loving his girlfriend for years now. She could say it, heck she really do want to say it but she chose not to. She knows she'd only embarrass herself.
"I'm her friend and were both girls so I dont think being sweet with each other is something new. I mean I always see Taeyeon being sweet with all her members." Jan finished. Taeyeon stared at her with questioning eyes and just like the first time Jan denied her, she got annoyed and didnt say anything.
Nichkhun nodded, seeing the younger girl's point. He thinks that girls are naturally sweet with one another and he did noticed Tiffany was always sweet with her members as well. "Again, Im sorry if I offended you."
"Its okay. None taken." Jan smiled and the rest of the diner was spent in awkward silence.
"Whats wrong Tae?" Jan asked once they were already inside the car. She had noticed her girlfriend's sudden change of mood earlier.
"Stop doing it."
"Stop doing what?"
"Youre denying me everytime someone's asking."
"What? Would you rather have the world known about us and let me drag you down with the rest of the Girl's Generation?" Taeyeon didnt say anything but Jan heard her sighed. "Look baby, you dont know how much I wanted us to go on public, heck I'd even be glad to tell the world that youre mine myself. But lets face it Tae, you being with me will only be okay if youre not Soshi's Kim Taeyeon."
"What do you mean?"
"I dont belong in your world Tae. I tried to see and understand your music world, but earlier when I was sitting there with you guys talking about it, I realized I know nothing about your passion. I felt so out of place."
"Stop.. Stop.. Stop." Taeyeon said, waving her hand to dismiss her girlfriend further words. She doesnt like hearing Jan say something like that. That she doesnt deserve her or anything. That Jan doesnt deserve her when its quite the opposite. "Ofcourse you belong to my world Jan. You belong with me." Taeyeon reached for Jan's hands and kissed it.
"But do you belong to me Tae?" She froze as she heard the question. She doesnt want to lie anymore. She doesnt want to say any lie to Jan anymore and somehow the younger girl had caught on, Taeyeon's silence had gave her a lot of answers already. "I guess its still too soon huh?"
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