"If at first you dont succeed, try again."
"Taeyeon.." even without raising her head, she knows exactly who called her.. The voice that she had been missing so much sounds so troubled, pained and weary but she didnt say anything and instead went back to what she was doing, writing. She felt the side of the sofa sunk as the person she'd rather not be with sat on it. She shuffled uneasily, trying to make some distance between them as if Tiffany was a hot coil burning her.
"Youve been avoiding me again."
"Im not." Taeyeon said, her eyes still not leaving the peace of paper in her lap.
"I thought we're already okay Tae.." Tiffany said hesitantly, hands gripping on her knees tightly. She was a bit scared to hear that the closeness that had just resurfaced on the concerts and tours that theyve went together was just nothing but a show.
"We are okay Tiff. As far as I know we never had any fights." Taeyeon leaned forward, settling the paper on top of the table before standing up, Tiffany stopped her by her wrists. "Exactly, so I dont know why youre avoiding to be with me again." She emphasized and Taeyeon caught on it. "Why are you drifting away from me Tae? Since you had Jan, you.. you became so.. more distant.." The last two words came out a whisper but Taeyeon heard it perfectly fine.
"Werent you the one who who had Nichkhun first? Youre the one who took the first step away from me, I just followed."
"But I never did.." Tiffany paused, standing up as Taeyeon brushed her hand off her. "Wait, is this about him? Are you.. jealous of him?" It was again hesitant but anticipating, questioning but at the same time knowing. And Taeyeon swear she could have killed herself right there and then for saying something that made her sounded like a jealous lover, ex-lover or whatever it is she could be labeled with.
Taeyeon gave out a nervous laugh and snorted. "Its for Jan. I dont want her to be jealous of you.. Of us.." She felt like almost choking at the last part, but somehow it just felt so right to refer of her and Tiffany as 'us'.
"So youre indeed avoiding me." Tiffany's voice dropped, with a hint of disappointment and hurt and sadness and a lot more things Taeyeon wished, hoped and dreamt for to be real.
"Taeyeon, do you.. do you have feelings for me?" That question again, she doesnt know why it was being asked again but Taeyeon was more than ready to answer it now. It will only take her a second to answer Yes but as if fate is really against them, the door flew open, startling them with the loud bang as it came in contact with the wall and revealed a fuming Jessica, "How many times do I have to tell you I dont like it when youre talking to someone else. I was fucking there and youre flirting with that girl.. in front of me.. In fucking front of me Yuri.." And an apologetic Yuri trailing behind her, "Sica please.. I dont..Im not flirting with her, she was just asking me about our recent album and.." Another loud bang of a closing door was heard.
"I'll go talk to her." Taeyeon patted Yuri by her shoulder before disappearing behind the bedroom door Jessica had gone to.
Realizing what it was that Yuri and her girlfriend had ruined she immediately apologized to Tiffany. "Wrong timing huh?" And Tiffany nodded, staring at the door where Taeyeon went it.
"I dont know Yuri.... I told Nichkhun to give me more days... I just wanted to hear Taeyeon say it..."
"Then what? What are you going to do after that? Are you going to turn down his proposal? And be with Taeyeon and live happily ever after?"
"Sounds like a plan but....." Tiffany trailed off, she doesnt know what to say next so she stayed silent and sat again, Yuri sat beside her,pulling her into her arms. She still doesnt know what she's supposed to do after she know Taeyeon's answer. All she know is that she need to hear Taeyeon say it, if she's indeed still in love with her, or not anymore. Atleast she has something to go from there.. A starting point. A ground. A baseline.
It had been a week now since Tiffany's boyfriend, Nichkhun had proposed to her in front of their families and friends on that dinner he personally planned just for the proposal and Tiffany asked him to give her more time. Their parents wasnt happy about it and was expecting Tiffany to say Yes but as soon as she told him no, the rest of the dinner was spent in awkward silence even after she had reasoned out that she still had some things she needs to finish, meaning Taeyeon, of course they dont need to know that.
Tiffany needs to know first the real deal between them and she thinks that if she said yes without getting an answer from Taeyeon then she'd be living in regret, as if she hadnt been living in it now.
"Do you think she'll leave her if she knew I love her?"
Yuri shrugged and squeezed Tiffany's shoulders which was very comforting. Being with Yuri who knows everything makes Tiffany at ease. "You'll never know if you wont tell her."
"Believe me Yuri, Ive been trying."
"Trying is never good enough Tiffany. You need to be more aggressive, assertive. When youre being like this, you make me question Manager Hwang's existence." They both laughed at that then Tiffany became silent. Telling herself that the next time she gets her chance she wont let anyone to stop them from talking it out, even if it means she needs to lock themselves in a closet.
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