"Everything has a process, including LOVE."
Who said moving on is easy?
Who said letting go is easy?
Ohh right, no one did. Its not something that you can really do over night. Its not something that you can just get over with in a snap of a finger. It doesnt work that way. It takes time, years maybe. It goes through a lot of procesess, steps and trial and errors sort of things before you can actually say youre already moved on and youve totally let go. It will be hard and sometimes a person going through one might even think that she's been stuck in a place wherein she has no escape from or maybe she's just not moving at all but in the end it will all depend on the person whether she does really want to move on and let go or not.
Sometimes love comes out in different ways. Love can be joyful and/or painful. It depends on the person really, whether the love she has within herself brought her joy or pain more than the other and Kim Taeyeon thinks she's on the latter's side. Love was supposed to be happy, thats what Taeyeon used to believe in but when she had found out that loving can hurt so much too, she has her body already deep down the mud and she cant pull herself up no matter how she tried.
One sided love. Bestfriend-zoned. Two things that well describes what she has and what she is for Tiffany Hwang for years. Being kept hidden for years, her feelings only grew stronger and unwavering. It was so painful but she couldnt stop loving her bestfriend eventhough Tiffany has her boyfriend already. Taeyeon still continue to love her form afar and satisfied herself with slight happiness their interaction can give her no matter how short its span was. The smiles, the body contacts and the stares all gives her warm feelings in her chest but also gave her that empty and longing feeling at the same time. And sometimes its too painful for her but she cant will herself to stop. She cant bring her heart to stop beating for Tiffany and she definitely cant cease her brain of thinking about the girl every other minute. She just cant and its hurting her even more. Sometimes she just want to run away from the pain, from Tiffany, from everything that connects her to the girl but as if fate hates her, she wasnt given the chance to that even when they were in hiatus, Tiffany still crawls underneath her skin. She had thought that Tiffany is someone she cannot escape from but she wanted to try atleast. But how when all her world is revolving around the girl and all the things around her reminds her of her? How can she let go if all the things she owns and the things she sees and came in contact with reminds her of Tiffany?
As if God heard her from the Heavens and gave her one last hope, she was asked to have a fansigning event for her endorsement product. She immediately said yes and went ahead of planning with her manager but when she learned it was on the country where would not only remind her of Tiffany but also shove the truth on her baby face that Tiffany is already dating someone not her, she wanted to back out but she didnt simply because she thought about having three days for herself, no Tiffany around her and no kmedia to scrutinize her every move not that it wasnt like that ever since their group became famous, just that now was excessively unacceptable. Theyve been looking for her dating scandal issues to flaunt in public like as if she has one anyways, she's as clean as a transparent glass.. empty to be exact.
And so, she went on, fans were already waiting for her in the airport and she sometimes asks herself if fans have other lives than fangirling, it doesnt seems so and it makes her heart happy to know that even just by herself she can drew a whole lot of audience in one country when she was just Commercial Endorser Kim Taeyeon and not as Girls Generation's Kim Taeyeon. But all things have its bad sides, she happened to be in the same flight with Tiffany's boyfrriend. They said Hi to each other, talked a bit about Tiffany which she hoped she doesnt need to but then its him so it cant be helped, and parted with a goodbye. She felt overwhelmed when she heard fans screaming her name when she walked out of the Airport.more and more fans screamed in octaves saying all things she already heard a thousand times but never failed to warm her up, its not because she's famous its because she's being loved by her fans and that two different things for her.
