"Sometimes its better to not know things."
Tiffany was about to go to the kitchen to grab some water, she was feeling thirsty after waking up from her nap but as soon as she heard Taeyeon and Jessica's voice talking she stopped on her tracks and contemplated if she should go on or just go back to her room. She and Taeyeon hasnt talked since that dinner with Nichkhun, she wanted to talk to her ofcourse but Taeyeon was always busy with her girlfriend that she's barely at home.
"How was the lunch?" She heard Jessica's voice asked.
"Good, Jan's dad was.. being a dad." Came the answer.
"Why? He doesnt like you?"
"He does, he just thinks that Jan and I will eventually break up sooner or later." Tiffany's ears perked up hearing that Taeyeon wasnt on Jan's father's good side.
"And what did you tell him?"
"Nothing. What should I say? You know damn well Im not good with words Sica."
"Yeah, and youre more like of the "Action speaks louder than words" kind of girl."
There was silence and Tiffany decided she should just go back but she suddenly heard her name.
"Tiffany doesnt seem okay lately, got any idea why?"
"She's not telling me anything but I can sense there's something going on with her. Do you suppose she's having some problems with Nichkhun?"
"How am I to know Sica? We never really talked."
"She was asking you things right? You think it has something to do with.." Taeyeon cut Jessica off. "I dont want to talk about it." There was a pause before Taeyeon spoke again. "Im thinking of introducing Jan to my parents. Do you think.."
"Its a good idea?" Jessica finishes. Tiffany's legs suddenly wobbled that she needed to hold on the wall to support herself up.
"Are you two going steady Tae? I mean.. youre going to introduce a girl, and they didnt even know the truth yet, that youre gay, how do you think they would react?"
"They'd go ballistic on me?" Taeyeon chuckled. "I dont think they'd go to much extreme hysteria, my parents are.. theyre cool people."
"I think you should tell them the truth first, you know so you wont shock them."
"The news is already shocking as it is. I dont think it'll be much of a difference. But yeah I guess I need to give them a head's up first."
"Where are you going?"
"Im calling them. To tell them Im gay."
"You should atleast tell them personally."
"Ive got no time for that, I want to introduce Jan's family before they go back to Thailand."
"Is that how youre going to prove your worth to Jan's Dad?"
"Maybe."
Tiffany, although she was feeling a bit weak earlier, had manage to ran back to her room within seconds and without Taeyeon or Jessica noticing her presence. Once inside the room, she let her body fall onto the floor and cried her heart out. She knew she was already too late and that she already lost the battle she hadnt even started yet.
"Youre so stupid.. Stupid.. Stupid." She weep whiled cursing to herself on how stupid she was for letting all this things end up this way. If she wasnt a coward in the first place, it wouldve been her who'll Taeyeon introduce to her parents, if she wasnt stupid enough, it wouldve been Taeyeon whom she introduced to her family, if she only had the courage before it wouldve been her and Taeyeon now.
Taeyeon was about to stand up from the dining table but Jessica held her wrist. "What about Tiffany?"
"What about her?" She asked back, brows all squeezed in.
"You still love her."
"I dont want to anymore."
"Dont force yourself into something that will hurt you in the end Tae." She took Jessica's hand and squeezed it. "Im not. Its crazy.. Cause I know I still have feelings for Tiffany, yeah I really do but whenever Im with Jan, it feels different. Everything is different. I cant understand myself but all I know is I need Jan by my side. I need her Sica. I need Jan." Taeyeon admitted then she chuckled, feeling a little bit embarrassed of the sudden confession she just made.
"But you dont love her Tae."
"No not yet, But Im going there."Taeyeon paused and smiled. "Tiffany will always be my first love and no one can ever change that, I loved her for years and I dont think that I'll ever stop loving her even if I try. Heck god knows I already tried but my efforts took me nowhere. She's still my friend, my bestfriend, but its all we are Sica. Thats all we can be. There's no need for us to hurt the one's who loves us. I surely dont want to hurt Jan and Im sure she's the same with Nichkhun too."
"But what if you found out that Tiffany loves you too, what will you do then?" That was a question Taeyeon never thought of asking herself although she's already been asked by Kangin many times before, she never really gave any thought about it that much and being asked again by Jessica, she doesnt know if she should be thinking for any answers.
"I dont know. I dont want to know." If its knowing about Tiffany's feelings for her or knowing what she'll do if ever she finds out, Taeyeon wasnt sure of. All she know now was she doesnt want to know anything that could waver her blossoming feelings for Jan. She doesnt want to be distracted, no, definitely not now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SUPPORT.VOTE.AND BE A LOCKSMITH
