"It cannot be seen nor touched, but one can feel it."
"I love you." Tiffany closed their gap again with a more needy kiss. All those pent up emotions, those kept words and truths that was hidden for so long has been finally conveyed as lips molded and moved along with each other. They broke apart, both panting and their chest seems to be overwhelmed with something other than air. Its warm and indescribable. But both Tiffany and Taeyeon knew what it was, and its mutual.
It was magical. No words can explain what Taeyeon was feeling at the moment. She knew it was right. She felt it. Being kissed by Tiffany just felt so right. Hands gripping tightly on the hem of Tiffany's blouse and the latter's on her neck. It felt so right to be hold by Tiffany like this. "I.. I love.." She breathes out, but it seemed like the air had been sucked back to her lungs and breathing became so hard, so painful, and its slowly killing her as she stared back at the eyes of someone she hadnt been seen and been with for months now.
As soon as Taeyeon heard a rustling sound, she pulled away from Tiffany. Shock was an understatement. Taeyeon had this look on her face that somewhere in the middle of scared, surprised, sorry and worried. "J-Jan.." She muttered as wide eyes with tears trickling down from it stared back at her.
"Jan..Let me explain.." Taeyeon said as she took steps towards the younger girl who had just turned around and ran, leaving the flowers she had that Taeyeon knew was for her.
Tiffany stopped her by her wrist. "Tae.." Her voice was faint, frail and a little weary.
"Tiff..I..I cant..I cant do this now.. Im..Im sorry.." Taeyeon brushed her hands off her and ran out of the room as quickly as she can.
"Jan.. Please..Wait.. Wait.." As if luck was on Taeyeon's side, the lift hasnt opened yet and that result Jan for taking the stairs and Taeyeon was trailing behind her. "Please Jan.. Let me explain..Please.." After some couple of floors down, Taeyeon finally had a grip of Jan's arms pulling her to her arms and locking her there. "Jan.."
"Let go of me." It was firm and cold and Taeyeon cant do anything but do what she's been told, releasing the girl but attentively watching her in case Jan made a run for it.
"Look.. What happened back there.." Taeyeon started but she didnt know what to say.. how to explain it, so Jan made it easier for her. "You two were kissing."
"Tiffany loves me." It was more to herself that to her girlfriend.
"And do you.. do you love her too?" Jan paused as she closed her eyes. "Ofcourse you love her too, you were kissing her. God, how stupid of me to even think you were just friends. Ofcourse youre in love with her too." Tears flow even more and Taeyeon reached out to wipe it but Jan took a step backwards, evading her hand. Taeyeon felt hurt, dejected for Jan not wanting to be touched by her, for the first time.
"Im not gonna lie Jan.. I.. I do..scratch that.. I did.. I did love her. I loved her.." Taeyeon took her step towards her girlfriend, reached out for her hand and pulled her back in her arms. "But I love you now." Its true and Taeyeon wasnt lying when she referred her feelings for Tiffany in the past tense cause thats what she's feeling right now. She never stopped loving Tiffany but she doesnt love her anymore. That is how Taeyeon would put it if she's asked and she cant explain it furthermore than that.
Yes, she cried that Nichkhun had proposed to Tiffany. Yes, she did got hurt when she thought Tiffany accepted him. Yes, she got angry when the couple went in the backstage holding each other's hands happily smiling at everyone who congratulated them. And yes, she got broken at the sight but its all normal.. It was all normal to get hurt, to be broken, to be angry because Tiffany was her first love, her ultimate love, her soulmate and having to see her in someone else's arms that should be hers was something she cant take in that easily. She cant accept that easily just like how its been hard for her to accept that Tiffany was in a relationship with him. Its hard but not impossible.
And the kiss.. The kiss happened cause she let herself got lost with those words Tiffany had said. She got lost with those eyes that stared at her. It was her dream and it came true, so who is she to deny herself of that dream when its already happening? Tiffany was just within her grasp so she took her in, pulled her in. It felt so right..Its good while it lasts, while it was only just the two of them in each other's arms inside that room. But that dream soon came back to reality as she saw Jan standing by the door, crying. At that very moment, Taeyeon just wanted to envelope Jan in her arms and dry those tears away that she had caused herself. It broke her heart to see Jan crying, more so knowing it was her fault.
"I love you Jan." She repeated and it cause the younger girl to cry even louder. Taeyeon felt relieved that she had finally said it.She had been wanting to say it for some time now but she doesnt want to do it over a phone and even though this wasnt what she had in mind of a romantic approah, atleast she finally said it and Jan knows it was true.. its real and for the first time, she felt it.
"Why did you lie to me? When I asked you if you like Tiffany, why did you lie?"
"Cause I thought keeping it was the best option, and now I know it wasnt. Im sorry that you found out about it this way."
"What are you going to do now?"
"What are we going to do now?" Taeyeon corrected her and Jan nodded against her shoulder, repeating what she said.
"Lets run away together. Far away from here."
"Sounds like a plan." And so they ran out of the hotel, holding each other's hands and only did they let go when they went inside Taeyeon's car. "So where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere, as long as Im with you."
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