On your knees // Bandom

19. Far Too Young To Die

Neither Brendon nor Ryan was in school come Friday, but that wasn't overly unusual. They would often skip Monday mornings together, when they were too tired/hungover for Maths. They would come and meet the others in the music room, smelling vaguely of smoke and wearing each others hoodies. Not that their hoodies were exclusive at this point, even Brendon would get confused as to which were actually his.

They didn't arrive for lunchtime though, and still the others shrugged it off, Ray commented that they were missing, but it still wasn't surprising. Perhaps one of them was ill, or suspended, and the other went along to make them feel less lonely, it wasn't unheard of.

Pete texted Brendon after school, checking in, and he got a 'We're fine.' response land nothing else. He didn't really need anything else.

The school also checked up on them, but only in the sense that they asked their most trustworthy friend, Patrick. But Patrick was far more loyal to his friends than his school, and so made up a story of a bug going around, because he assumed they were ok.

So if blame were too be placed, who would it be upon? The officials or the children? Those with responsibilities or the lost teenagers who still probably knew better? Should Brendon have explained, or his friends pushed further? Did Pete rightly interpret the full stop after 'I'm fine.' as 'leave me alone' or should it have been an alarm bell that something was wrong?

~

Brendon got barely any sleep on Sunday night. He fell asleep at midnight, after not hearing from Ryan for 24 hours and distracting himself with homework and Netflix. Then his phone rang at 4AM. He managed to answer it, sleepily and only half there, but he picked it up.
It was Arden. Which was weird because he and Arden had never talked before, he was Ryans step-brother and they had swapped numbers over one summer when there was a family holiday and Ryans data had run out.

"What?"
Brendon had not understood a word of his frantic words.
"Ryans hurt."
"How badly?"
"He's in hospital, you should come, my mom and I just got here, and his dad are here, but I thought you'd want to come..... they don't know, right?"
"They don't. What happened?"
"It was an..." this was the moment when Brendons half awake brain registered that Arden was crying. "It was an accident, with a car. Saturday night, but we were on holiday. We just got here, I-"
"Fuck."
"Its St. Patricks hospital. Can you get here?"
"How bad is it? Will he be ok for the morning?"
"I- I don't know."
"Okay, fuck, I'll- I'll be there."
"His parents won't like you coming but I can't- I know he needs you."
"Thank you. So much, but don't make me cry- I can't drive crying."
"Okay."
Brendon hung up.

He did actually have his driving licence, he got it over the summer, but he really shouldn't be sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night to drive his moms car.

Thankfully, though, due to the whole 4AM situation, the roads were almost empty and Brendon made it the three miles without accident. He came close a couple of times, turning a moment to slow or blinded by the unexpected oncoming headlights, but he pulled up into a hospital parking space without a scratch. It was almost a miracle, he really should still have someone experienced in the passenger seat, but he did it for Ryan. He'd do anything for Ryan.

There were only a handful of people in the hospital, and Brendon went straight to the receptionists desk.
"Is Ryan Ross here?"
"Ryan Ross... hmmm... George Ryan Ross?"
"Yeah."
"He's in the ICU. Are you family?"
"ICU? Its that bad?"
"Im confident the doctors are doing all they can and its very probable that he'll be fine."
"Can I see him?"
"Are you family?"
"Im- anything I tell you is in confidence, right?"
"Of course."
"I'm his boyfriend. Please can I see him?"
"You can wait outside. As soon as you can see him they'll let you know."
"Will he be ok?"
"80 percent of ICU admissions in New Jersey are fine."
"What if he's in the 20 percent?"
"Then we'll let you know, theres nothing you can do right now."
Brendon nodded, trying not to cry, because this was a guarantee that something was wrong, and he blamed himself.

He walked through the doors, and was greeted by Arden. He was taller than Brendon remembered, already surpassing his height despite being two years younger than him.
"Only immediate family allowed inside." He explained.
Brendon nodded. "What happened?"
"A car crashed into him, apparently he crossed a road without looking."
"Fuck. Really?"
"Yeah."
"This is my fault."
"No it's not, it's an accident."
"We- we had a fight, and he was upset, that's why he didn't look, he was crying and I should have- he wasn't meant to walk home alone. I forced him to leave, I should have..."
"What did you fight about?"
"It's complicated, I guess he thought I was cheating, and he brought up my probably abusive ex and..."
"Were you cheating?"
"Someone kissed me. But he made it look like I kissed him, I just cant have my last words to him be telling him to leave, and this cant be my fault."
"Its not your fault."
"Yeah it was," and then Brendon was crying, properly, and Arden had no idea what to do with this small emo boy who was his stepbrothers boyfriend and was crying.

They waited for hours, on the edge of their shitty hospital seats, then finally a doctor walked out.
"Are you here for George Ross."
Arden nodded.
"Okay, well, he's stable, but he's..."
"He's what?"
"He's on life support."
"Oh, God." Brendon covered his face with his hands.
"Is he ok?" The doctor asked Arden.
"He will be. Brendon? Come on, lets go see Ryan."

~

Ray was walking to the music room when Jimmy caught his wrist, then dropped it like it was hot.
"Jimmy?"
"Uh, yeah, we can't practice Friday because Lindseys busy, so we might go over to Kitty's tonight. Can you come?"
"Yeah, think so, where is it?"
"Like a twenty minute bus ride, we can cover the fare if..."
"I have a pass, it's good. I'll text my mum."
"Okay, cool, uh, meet us by the traffic lights after school?"
"Sounds cool,"

Ray was last to the traffic lights, and as he approached he noticed Lindsey was so much chiller without him, actually smiling and messing with Kitty's hair. He paused
and watched them for a moment, then Jimmy caught his eye and grinned, beckoning him down.

"Hey,"
"Raymond." Kitty looked at him seriously, he noticed that one of her eyeliner wings were wonky. "Do you swear to secrecy."
"Uhh, yeah?"
"You have to at least pretend to be certain."
"I swear."
"Okay, you can come to my house. I have to make you swear though, because someone leaked my adress last time." She shot a telling look at Lindsey, and Ray suddenly realised that the theatrics were not for his benefit.

The bus pulled up, and they travelled the rest of the way in a sort of comfortable chatter, about nothing important.

They arrived at Kittys house to find a woman in the kitchen,
"Hey, mom. Can we practice upstairs?"
"Yeah, sure. Who's the new one?"
"Guitar." She nodded, his instrument far more important than his name and
Ray followed Kitty up her stairs to the attic.

His eyes widened as he saw her whole room, half a bedroom and half a sort of studio with drumkits and wires and speakers that practically doubled as furniture.

Lindsey sat on the bed as Kitty started to set up.
"So, what are you wearing for the date?"
"Im not going on your stupid date." She replied, changing a pedal.
"Why not?"
"Because I still like her, ok?"
"Who's her?" Ray asked.
"Jamia," Kitty mumbled.
"I'm sorry," Lindsey sounded genuine "I know I ruined that."
"No shit,"
"I am really sorry."
"Wait, you're Jamias asshole ex-friends?" Ray asked.
"I guess Lindsey is. Me and Kitry were just her bandmates who she left because she couldn't stand the bass guitarist." Jimmy shot a glance at Lindsey "And Maybe Kitty isn't the only one still hung up on her."
"Only drunk me liked Jamia."
"Lindz.."
"Jimmy. Drop it. Please."
Jimmy and Kitty caught eyes, and he nodded. "Fine."

The practice wasn't as smooth as usual.

An// look at this fast updating its because I have no life. Xx