On your knees // Bandom

29. Dancings not a crime

Ryans locker was nothing out of the ordinary. Locker 336. He didn't have photos on the front, or graffiti, or anything that personalised it. In the front door he had stuff - a photo strip from a mall that he and the Mika had taken one time, when he was in a different position to what he was in now, and concert stubs from the one gig he'd gone to with Dallon.

Today though, today there was something on the front of his locker. A post-it note, to be exact. Neon green. And scribbled on it was an instruction, typewritten.

Cyrus and Frankie 4 -e-v-e-r- abt a month

He understood the instruction. It was a famous, but not infamous, message written into the door of cubical number two of the maths block boys bathroom.

Both Cyrus and Frankie had, he thought, left last year. Yet the memorial of their misfortunate relationship had remained in sharpie.

He had maths first, and he couldn't really be bothered with trigonometry right now, so he decided, and whether that was a good decision or not remains to be seen, he decided to follow the post-it note.

When he got to the stall, he noticed a new message, carved with what looked like a compass.

Ryan - the weed locker.

Ryan racked his brains for what, the fuck, the weed locker was. Then it hit him: locker number 420. Of course.

He's intrigued now - his problem solving muscles far more active then they would be in maths. Trying to guess who was leaving him this trail of breadcrumbs, and what the prise would be.

Locker 420 has a post-it, too. This time in bright yellow, but with the same typewritten letters.

Man is not truly one, but truly two

Jekyll and Hyde. Whoever this is knows him well enough to know he would get that. Or maybe they just assumed he'd google it.

He goes to the library and is greeted, by name, by the librarian. He acknowledges her but doesn't start a conversation and heads to the classics section. There are three copies of The Strange Case Of Jekyll And Hyde. He flicks through the first one in vain but the second one contains yet another post-it. Hot pink.

Caleb wasn't here

Another vaguely famous-within-the-school graffiti scribbled into a science desk in room 6. Caleb had actually got in trouble for it, but it wasn't him who wrote it. Or so the myth goes.

Ryan didn't find anything on the desk, and sat down on the stool in defeat. He'd lost the trail. Then, sat down, he saw the hint of blue in tucked inside the gas tap. He pulled it out.

Cody Jacksons finest moment.

Ryan had heard of Cody Jackson, a boy in the year above, for only one thing: Coming over a computer and staining the screen.

In the computing lab there was, as you probably guessed, yet another post-it.

It was tucked half under the keyboard.

Have you guessed who I am yet? How about you check music room four.

Music room four it was, then.

He got there, and there was a whole pile of post it notes on the piano.

Ryan:
This didnt fit on one note.
But I miss you

Ryan stopped reading, he didn't want to hear the rest, he didn't want his nice little treasure hunt to be about Dallon, yet again. But he called him anyway.

"Ry!" He said, his voice all lit up.
"Im not going to the dance with you."
"But..."
"I dont care. You cant do this anymore. You lost your chance."
"Ryan,"
"I. Don't. Care."

Ryan hung up. And he picked up the post it notes up and dropped them in the bin, heartless. It wasn't for lack of caring though, however it may seem. It was because he cared too much.

~

Gee walked into Mikeys room and sat at the end of the bed without asking.
"Are you asking Pete to the dance?"
"No, we broke up."
"What?? When??"
"Like? Just under a week ago?"
"Why didn't you tell me."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay." Gee pursed their lips. "Okay. Ill shut up."
"Im scared I fucked up." Mikey admitted.
"Always a possibility."
"Screw you. I thought you'd be supportive."
"Ok. Heres what I think - it was a tough choice and in proud of you for making it."
"Don't get sappy now."

"I can't believe I didn't notice earlier."
"I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it."
"Yeah, I know. Do you at least have a good playlist, though?"
Mikey shrugged "I just skip songs that don't fit the mood."
"Really, dude? There are so many break up songs you can take advantage of."
"You got that from Frank."
"Huh?"
"Calling people dude."
"Maybe," Gee admitted. "Not the point. I'll send you a good breakup playlist."
"I broke up with him, though, I'm not allowed to..."
"Listen to me, Mikey. You are allowed to feel however you feel.
Mikey got out of his chair then, and hugged Gee, like he would when he was a kid and scared of the dark.

"Its just difficult to believe. Like hes still the first thing on my mind when I wake up. And then I realise that I ruined that chance. And im scared I ruined everything. That I really hurt Pete, or that I didn't, and he doesn't care, or hes already over me."
"All these are things you could work our with a good playlist." Gee told him.

"Whats going on with Gee, though?" He asked.
Gee paused. "What do you mean."
"I mean you're my brother, I can tell its more than a nickname at this point. It means more. I just didn't want to pry."
"Um... I might not be your brother?"
"You're adopted?"
Gee half-laughed. "I'd still be your brother then, nature vs nurture, yeah?"
"Oh. Are you trans?" Mikeys voice was tentative.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I just don't want to be a guy, I dont think. But I'm not a girl, I just..."
"If you don't want to be a guy, if you hate the idea of being a guy, then you're probably not a guy."
"Really?"
"Really."

~

Ryan❣️: I think I just found a polaroid dick pic
Bren: ah
Ryan❣️: would this be your dick?
Bren: that it would
Bren: im sorry?
Ryan❣️: its not a bad dick
Bren: do you like,,, even have memories of seeing any dicks at all?
Ryan❣️: irrelevant
Ryan❣️: tho its a little weird for me that youve seen me naked.
Bren: again, sorry?
Bren: we can make it even if you like...
Ryan❣️: youre an idiot
Bren: you don't know how much I've missed you calling me an idiot, Ry.

And fuck, had he truly missed this easy flirting. The feeling that he wasn't truly here alone. That third space he shared with Ryan.

Ryan❣️: so. The dance?
Bren: absolutely
Ryan❣️: you don't need an extra promprosal?
Bren: nope. I just need you
Ryan❣️: I cant imagine you as anything less than dramatic
Bren: I honestly thought I'd lost you, ry
Bren: I still can't believe I haven't
Bren: im so lucky to have you
Ryan❣️: honesty time?
Bren: yeah
Ryan❣️: you deserve more than what Audrey made you believe
Bren: ...
Bren: you brought her up
Ryan❣️: yeah, because I don't know your boundaries yet and I should probably have done it in person first. Sorry
Bren: its ok. I let her fuck stuff up between us for far too long
Ryan❣️: you deserve anyone you want
Bren: I want to see you
Ryan❣️: I mean you deserve that, too
Bren: Now
Ryan❣️: its cold out tho
Bren: how would you feel about me climbing through your window
Ryan❣️: I wouldn't complain

So if Mr. Ross heard him come in, he didn't mention it, because he knew Brendon had done this before on particularly bad days, and he was glad his son had that back.

An// sorry its been like a month I've missed y'all.
Go check out my new story 'Arbutus'