On your knees // Bandom

33. HNLY

Ray approached Jamia at lunch.

"Hey, Jamia?"
"Ray, sup?"
"Y'know Kitty?"
"I am aware, yes."
"Would you wanna go to the dance with her?"
"What?"
"You want a date, right?"

Jamia had jokingly had this conversation with Frank, but she wasn't ready to be confronted with the reality of it. She missed Kitty an ungodly amount but she still felt betrayed.

"She wouldn't want that," She told Ray
"She misses you."
"'Hell would you know?"
"We're... friends."
"And she wants to go to the dance with me?"
"Yeah, she does. Promise."
"I- Can I think about it?"
"Of course, sorry if..."
"Its fine. Thanks for trying."

Jamia went and found Frank, who was trying to explain the plot of High School Musical to Dallon.

"Frank?"
"Oh, hey, Jamia, who would you be in a High School Musical sing-a-long?"
"Sharpay because she's a lesbian, obviously. Can we talk?"
"Sure," Frank let himself be dragged off by Jamia.

"So, whats up?" He asked.
"Ray set me up."
"Oh?" He grinned as he asked it.
"Yeah... with Kitty."
"Oh!" Both his eyebrows shot up. "What did you say?"
"That I'd think about it. Apparently she misses me,"
"Who wouldn't."
"Sweet but unnecessary. Any actually helpful advice?"
"Do you want to go to a dance with Kitty?"
"I want to go to the dance with Kitty my friend, but im scared."
"Then you should go."
"Really?"

Frank hugged her, and she hugged him back without complaint. His chin fit into her shoulder the way it always had.

"Go ask Kitty to the dance," He told her.
"What if we're never friends again afterwards, though?"
"Well, are you friends now?"
"No..."
"Then how could it be worse?"
"Fuck you and your logic, Iero."
"You love me really."
"Unfortunately."
"High School Musical sing-a-long because Dallon hasn't seen them, though?"
"Absolutely. Are you and Gee gonna be Troy and Gabriella because that's adorable."
"Hell yes we are I will make them."

~

Ray drove carefully along Jimmys road, checking his phone occasionally, until coming to a stop outside a house with a yellow front door and a home-made holly wreath. He leaned over to turn down the passenger window and turned up the Green Day song playing.

Jimmy looked out of an open window on the second floor, laughed, and dissapeared again only to come out of the door.

"Cliché." He commented, getting into the car.
"I try," Ray replied.

Jimmy watched him start the car again, and wished with all his heart that he was in a position to lean over and kiss him. He wished that someone as beautiful, as kind, as funny as Ray Toro would want him with that casual affection that far outshone tumultuous romance and drug driven sex.

Ray glanced over at him. He felt this inexplicable apologeticness for his lack of attraction. He tried to picture himself with Jimmy, tried to imagine them making out or just holding hands, because, as stated, he wasn't as straight as people assumed. It didn't work. It wasn't disgusting, it just wasn't right. He might love him, but it was only platonic.

Ray wasn't at fault, and certainly not to be blamed, but he did feel like he was the only thing preventing a happy ending, which wasn't a good feeling.

He wanted to apologise. "Am I picking you up after the dance as well?" He asked, instead.
"I hope so. Its you or Gabe Saporta so..."
"Gabe Saporta?"
"He said If I wanted to lose my virginity on the night of the dance he'd be happy to help."
"You're a virgin?" Ray asked, surprised.
Jimmy turned red. "I've like... done stuff. Just not, y'know, had sex."
"Oh,"
"Like you have, Raymond." He replied accusatively.
"I haven't done shit. I just thought you had."
"Well, people surprise you."
"Don't do it for the first time with Gabe."
"Apparently he's good, though." Jimmy complained.
"Irrelevant. You should do it with someone you trust, and someone you actually like. And someone who's not an asshole."
"What," He scoffed. "Like you?"
Ray bit the inside of his lip. "Sorry."
"No, don't feel guilty. Its not a thing. Its fine."
"If I could choose who to like, Jimmy, it'd be you. I swear. But I can't chose."
"So its Kitty."
"What? No!"
"Come on. You're not exactly subtle."
"I didn't think I was obvious," Ray grumbled. "so she knows?"
"Yeah — everyone knows. And obvious is cute," Jimmy mumbled the last bit, but Ray still heard.
"As I recall, you always think I'm cute."
"Hey! You're not allowed to use this against me. Thats not fair."
Ray laughed.

~

Jamia found Kitty smoking behind the art block.

"Kit," She greeted, cautiously using her old nickname.
Kittys face lit up. "Jamia!"
"So apparently you're friends with Ray now,"
"Yeah, I-"
"Its cool. So, the dance?"
"Oh, yeah, Ray just asked me and I... I miss you, so much, and im sorry. Really. I kept making excuses that you were the one who didn't message you but honestly its my fault. I didnt realise until too late how much you mean to me, and I definitely didn't get to pick a side with you and Lindsey, and im sorry. And I know its irrelevant now but if I had had the choice. It would have been you."
Jamia was staring.
"Im sorry." Kitty repeated.
"I miss you too," Jamia replied. "So much. I would love to go to the dance with you."
Kitty hugged her warmly with one arm, the other stubbing out the cigarette on the brick wall.
"And I'd love to go to the dance with you."

"I have access to a limo," Kitty said.
"Oh really?"
"For me and my boyfriend."
"Ah," Jamias face dropped.
"How about we double-date?"
"This is a date?" Jamia teased.
"You know what I mean. Im sure Ray and Jimmy would be happy too."
"Ray and Jimmy are going together?"
"You didn't know?"
"No? Are they dating? I thought Ray was straight?"
"Nah, Jimmy likes him but they're going as friends. It's hilarious and concerning watching it play out."
"I've missed your take on things, Kit."
"And so you should."

Kitty realised, then, that whatever crush she had meant nothing in the face of their friendship, and she could easily put aside her feelings if it meant Jamia could be her best friend again. She couldn't lose her again, she couldn't deal with a breakup.

~

Jimmy pushed the curtain aside and stepped out of the changing room.

"Looking sharp," Ray commented.
"You're an asshole," Jimmy replied.
"I was being serious?"
"Yeah. Thats why you're an asshole."
"Oh. Look, would you rather I was making this awkward? Because I can, if you'd prefer?"
"No, I just..."

'Stop flirting with me' Was kind of a lie, or at least a variation of the truth. 'Carry on' was accepting the torture. He trailed off the sentence instead, and disappeared back inside the cubicle.

"I think thats the one, though, for real."
"Okay. Ill get my mum to buy it. She wanted to do this with me, but..."
"Im not worth missing the bonding sesh. Im not even your boyfriend."
"Oh, I know."
"Sorry."
"Nah its fine. I liked doing this with you anyway. You don't tease me about girls."
"Would you like me too?" Ray asked, amused.
"Why, you have material?"
"You're pan, right? So you have actually dated girls."
"Pan."
"Huh?"
"I go by pan, not bi."
"Thats what I said, idiot."
"Oh. I'm just used to people... not."
Jimmy came out from the curtain, dressed back in his black and pink.

"Food?" Ray asked.
"Yeah," All was forgiven.

They walked over to the cafe in companionable chatter, meaningless conversation that didn't make Jimmy fall harder or get over him. Ray kept sneaking side glances at him, trying to picture them again. Hopefully at this point he had imagined them together enough for him to genuinely want it. Hopefully he could guarantee at least one happy ending.

An// yo the next chapter is gonna be the longest so far by like 1k words :)

Also do you ship JimmyxRay bc I cant decide and its important?