On your knees // Bandom

40. The (After) Life Of The Party

"I was wondering-," Awsten asked, as he and Ryan got ready for Dallons party. "-I was wondering how far you actually went with Dallon. You don't have to answer."
"We just kissed," Ryan replied, turning away from his mirror.
"And you dated for like..?"
"I don't know, a couple of months. Not long."
"Right."
"What are you asking, AK?"
"Nothing," Awsten shrugged.
"C'mon, I can tell when you're lying." For a brief, strange, moment, he sounded like Geoff.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"I can handle it," Ryan assured him.
"Would you ever consider having sex with me?" Awsten froze as soon as he said it, feeling embarrassed.
Ryan was unperturbed. "Yeah,"
"Yeah you'd have sex with me?"
"Yeah I'd consider it."
"Oh."

"Why, you're thinking ahead?"
"Just wondering, and, like, literally nobody I've ever dated has liked me for my personality not my body so..."
"For real?"
"I've had two boyfriends and one girlfriend," He laughed at Ryans raised eyebrow. "One we decided it was just an experiment and we were just platonic all along, two just wanted to take my virginity and leave,"
"I don't think you can lose your virginity twice."
"One girl one boy? She didn't know I'd already had sex with a guy."
"So you've lost both of your virginities already? I can't have even one?"
"Sorry, baby."
"Yeah well, I don't know. I already feel more comfortable with you than Dall, and its been like a week. But, like...."
"I get it, no pressure."
"I'd just wanna talk about it first, and stuff."
"Well, take as long as you want and im here to talk anytime."

Ryan stopped what he was doing. "Can we talk, actually, because I have... questions, I guess?"
"Sure,"
"Okay, so..."
"You wanna come here?"

Ryan nodded and  moved across his room and sat down on the bed, in Awstens lap, Awsten rested his head on his shoulder in response.

"I'm not a kid, or an idiot. I know like.. how it works and shit," Ryan was blushing. "I just wondered about you, and..."
"I don't mind," Awsten said. "I'll go either way,"
"Oh-kay,"
"Stop being fucking embarrassed," Awsten told him. "Its good to talk about shit. I like talking about sex with you. Its good."
"Kinky shit?" Ryan asked, turning to face Awsten.
"I'm down for trying stuff, but no preferences."
"I like that you're chill about this," Ryan told him.
"Healthy relationships and communication, baby. I want us to date right."

~

Ray picked Jimmy up for the new years party in the car he had gotten for Christmas. He felt on top of the goddamn world. New boyfriend. New car.

Sure, the boy was secret and the car second-hand with a shitty paint job, but still... boyfriend! car!

He was playing music along Jimmys boulevard again, lyrics dripping with meaning that he sang along to with ease, having long ago lost his soul to the artist.

Jimmy came out of his house in his usual fashion, with his grin lighting up his face.

"New car?" He asked, opening the door.
"Yup," Ray tried to pull it off, but, because he was a cliché around his boyfriend, he pulled Jimmy in for a greeting kiss over the centre console.

"So," Jimmy began, the smile never leaving his face. "I was thinking, at midnight, wouldn't it be such a shame if you and I, separately of course, were to need to go to the bathroom just as the clock struck nee years. Oh well, not like we'd kiss anyone anyway."
Ray shook his head slowly, his eyes on the road. "It would be a tragedy."
"I can't believe we'd miss the kisses we weren't gonna have."
"Truly unbelievable."

Jimmy wanted to kiss him again, but he was driving, so he sat on his hands and stared out of the window at the setting winter sun.

~