Words of the heart

74 - after it's been a while.

I had convinced myself this time last year that I had finally let you go,

I passed you and we acted like strangers, it hurt but it was for the best.

I no longer felt rage at the mention of your name just some sad nostalgia.

I was pleased to hear you moved,
no longer having to see you so often and my healing process
could be complete.

I was convinced I was past you,
leaving you behind as I start a new chapter in my life.

but oh how wrong I was..

simply seeing you like passing ships on a crowded public bus and all
the memories and pain
comes flooding back.

I was fine seeing you daily,
but seeing you after it has been a while,
is so much fucking harder..

the chills roll down my spine and
I'm temped to call out your name, invite you to sit with me and catch up-

but things are so different now,
so I hold back and reminisce
the memories silently in my mind,

I feel the tears pricking my eyes as the lyrics of the song that is playing
somehow relates to you.

and if you knew I was writing this,
or even still thought about you,

how pathetic you'd say I am..

but you will never know so I need to put myself at ease through
a strange sort of poetic
style writing.

I looked back up from writing this,
and you had already vanished,

so I say farewell to you,
it was not pleasant to see you.