Words of the heart

109 - pitiful pattern.

i think somewhere deep down i really wanted it to be you.

i wanted it to be us despite the odds that may have not been in our favor..

i wanted desperately for it to be you for reasons that remain unknown honestly, 

i guess i dove in head first, and after realizing my mistake i got scared and pulled away drastically, but i always do that. 

things move faster than i ever like.

i get overwhelmed and pull back.

but that was where my mistake was made i guess cause the chance is gone. 

it seems like this has been the consistent for a while now, but in different variations with different people i suppose. 

a sad reality it is.

now look at the predicament it has gotten me in.. such a pitiful one if you ask me.

now i lay here in the morning crying once again, but that is such a habit now.

but i must say it now as i regret not saying it before, me too.