Words of the heart

111 - haunting.

i sit here on this train with seemingly no destination,

i watch as the world passes in a blur outside my window; music blasting all too loud and the tears streaming down steadily as the last 24 hours sink in.

at first i felt nothing,

everyone handling me with cautious for seemingly no reason what so ever..

but i know the reason,

simply because i should be mortified, a sobbing mess as the reality sets in.

yet instead the tears are only now setting but sadly i don't yet feel anything as of yet..

which is ironically even scarier.

but when the face flashes as i lay staring out of that window for the night,

the same face that also flashes every time i close my eyes, haunting my nightmares and my waking hours.

i feel the bile raising in the back of my throat again as i lean my head back and watch the passing world..

better to forget it all.