LOST IDENTITY

Chapter Eighteen

TASNEEM

Graduation has always been a dream which is now coming live and clear. It feels surreal, like I finally have wings to fly, to widen my horizons and be the best I can ever be. Like a new beginning, a new chapter waiting to be written on the pages of history.

"Alhamdulillah!!!  finally, finally we are going to be free from this hell hole" Maryam said in a sing song vouce sashaying into the room  draped in towel.

"Indeed Allah is the Greatest. What are you going to miss most about this school Madame" I asked with a smile of my own. Neatly stacking the last item of clothing in my trolley.

"You" she replied sadly, with a serious expression on her face.

I feel warm and fuzzy  inside. Just like the way she's going to miss me most after school, it's same for me " You can't be serious you know ..what about Naima and the others ?"

"I'll miss them too, but then not as much as I'm going to miss you hunnay" she replied drying her body with a small towel.

"If that's the case, then I'm going to miss you more than anything,  more than I've ever missed someone in my life"  I said giving her a side hug.

"Rain will fall with ice today in Bakori" Maryam chuckled after I released her from the side hug.

"And why is that?" I asked with a grin.

"You willingly speak to me, asked me what I feel about leaving this school and even give me a hug. I feel  like I'm in a dreamlike haze,  a thin line separating dreams from reality" 

I chose to ignore the vibe killer.  She kept on rambling about how I use to give her a surprise anytime she gives up on me. What made her say such is because I haven't speak to anyone for two days except a pantomime and a shake of my head.

" I'm sorry please don't relapse back to your temporary state of muteness. We need your voice today more than ever" she begged, fake gasping and holding her hand to her chest.

"Will you please shut the hell up?" I glared at her.

She stuck her tongue out " Yeye pikin,  come and zip me up jhor. Can't wait to see Nana. I've missed her so much it hurts right here" she pointed at her heart to drive home her point.

She hasn't realised that what she said hurts me like a knife to my chest. She has every right to tell me how she feels about seeing her mother and I know that she means no harm by saying such,  but by Allah it hurts. It hurts to know that my own mother is hale and hearty but won't show her face because I'm a disgrace to her, she hates me and I'm the flaw to her perfect miserable life.

Maryam nudged me a little bringing me out of trance.

"Hey! I'm sorry okay ? I didn't mean to make you feel bad" she apologized remorsefully.

"It's okay dear I'm not offended. Promise" I managed a smile.

"Okay let's pimp you up " she said piping up a little bringing out her make up kit.

"I don't think that's necessary. My face is okay as it is please spare me okay?" I whined giving her my best puppy face.

"It's your graduation you dumb girl. This day will never come again, it's once in a lifetime experience so live it babe. Look like a princess straight out of fairytale okay?" 

I smack my face in a manner showing just how frustrated I am,  how right she is and how somehow I secretly want to look my best for a certain someone.