LOST IDENTITY

Chapter Twenty

Unedited😢 Very short😩 Not interesting😠.

Okay now!  Dive in....

TASNEEM

After I regain consciousness  back in school,   I keep fainting on and off  throughout  the ride. The headache is back  with full force and I feel  like my appointed time in this world is up.

I hate injections  and the sight of blood nauseates  me but I have no choice than to let the nurses  do their job of saving lives to save mine  the best way they know how.

"Sannu Mamana. May Allah grant you shifah" Abba consoled me. Zaheera and Adeel were taken home to their  precious mother.

"You're a strong girl, it's going to be okay Habibty" Aunty Hadiza  and Uncle Farouk said in unison.

After the tests and what nots  I was admitted  for further observation. Soon after a nurse sedates me and I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

I woke up late at night, feeling famished.  Aunty Hadiza fed me and helped me to pay back my missed prayers.

"Your dad was here till midnight.  He is so worried about you " Aunty Hadiza  told me about the surgery and everything.  I didn't cry, I   wasn't  even scared.  I think I've finally  made peace with  death.  Maybe I will find  peace there because  my mother will soon drag me to hell.

I didn't  sleep a wink after till it was time for subh.  I had a cuppa before finally dozing off only to wake to a sensation  that someone is looking at me.  Saying Alhamdulillahil lazee ahyani ba'ada ma amatani wa ilaihin nushur  inaudibly I opened my eyes catching  Mukarram red handed ogling at me.

I found myself  teasing  him which obviously embarrassed  him and then I opened up to him telling  him my final goodbye  to all the people I've loved. I didn't  mention  Jalila because he doesn't  know her. Maryam cuts me off midway which is so typical  of her and from a tensed atmosphere she turned it to a jolly one filled  with fun and laughter making me to momentarily forget about my mother and her hurtful words and the fact that  I'm really scared of what is to come before and after the surgery. 

Aunty Hadiza  came in followed by Abba who looks like  he has aged twenty years from the last time  I saw him yesterday.  We were left alone to talk in private. I honestly  don't want him to feel sorry for me he is also not obligated to come here because he's only my mother's  husband who is kind enough to let me use his name as my surname.

"Mamana" he called out.

"Na'am Abba.  Good morning " I replied feeling sad for the man sitting beside me feeling a fraction  of his pain because  he has lost a daughter too.  One with whom he first experienced the joys of fatherhood with. One he named after his beloved mother.

" In shaa Allah  you're going to be better.  You are a fighter and you will fight  this with every  ounce of strength  in you. I know that I've failed you as a father and I can't  get tired of saying sorry to you my dear.  Binta is a very  difficult woman who lacked human  feelings. I should have let her go since the day  you  left  but I didn't because of your siblings.

I can't promise to make everything better but in shaa Allah you'll be happy again. You will  be so filled with joy that your past won't hurt ever again" he wiped a stray tear while I lay in bed watching him with  a throbbing heart. Itching to wrap my arms around his torso to sob out my pent up emotions  till  my head aches  so much and my breaths  becomes shallow.