LOST IDENTITY

Chapter Twenty Six

MUKARRAM

I was rendered speechless after listening to the story of my mother's life. Before I wipe away the tear stain on my face I prayed for my mother that Allah will grant her a home in jannah and respite in her grave.

"May Allah have mercy on Amatullah " Dad
sniffed. Ahmad and I said amin.

"I think I know who mama's mother is. Isn't her name Amina and she lives in Kundila Zoo road? " Ahmad asked.

"Yes of course she's the one. How do you know her? " Dad asked sounding excited that someone knows his mother in law "is she okay?" He added.

"Of course she is. Her business is thriving so well she's buying goods from abroad. She is Mamma's sister who lives with their aunt in kano since childhood, married there, but we use to visit each other "

My head is spinning from all the unexpected information I've gathered today. So it means that Ahmad and I are related. He's like my mother's cousin or something.

"Subhanallah! This is good news" dad exclaimed happily.

I was choked up with emotions that didn't stop the tears from flowing, I cried so hard till my head aches, I cried for the beautiful woman I never get to know, for a wounded father I was too selfish to consider his predicament, for a wasted young age, for not trying hard to get to know my parents, For becoming a fornicator who doesn't know anything about his Lord and is cool with it.

"She must be disappointed in me " I cried out.

"She will invoke Allah's wrath upon me because I am not the kind of child she wanted to raise"

"Don't say that Mukarram. Whatever happened was meant to happen, you always say that. Besides it's not your fault, a child don't grow up to be or good or bad unless his parents have a fair share of disciplining him to become either of the two when he grows up. Pray for mama and be more steadfast in your deen that's the only thing she'd want to get from you. Not guilt, not resentment, not what ifs" Ahmad consoled patting my back.

"If anyone is to be blamed then it's me. I don't know how to start apologizing to you Mukarram. I have a lot of regrets but by Allah not raising you well is the biggest regret of my life. I am proud of the man you've become" dad apologized. I didn't say anything not because I don't forgive him but because I want the forgiveness to be wholehearted holding nothing back.

He asked about my life, what it was like growing up for me and I told him every dirty detail of the kind of life I led before Ahmad found and rescued me.

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. Furera have cheated me I will never forgive her " he lamented wiping his eyes.

We ate lunch after Asr prayer and dad suggested that we should go and see his parents who he's sure will be elated to see Amatullah's son.

We arrived at the shabby looking house. It doesn't look like the house I remembered.

"Are you sure this isn't the wrong house dad? " I asked.

"It is not" he replied with shame.

"Honestly it's a shame to say that your parents are living in shambles as opposed to your lifestyle. Please do something about the condition of this house. " I added feeling angry all of a sudden. Even before knowing that Furera is not my mother I always think of taking care of them in old age.

"If they forgive me, which am sure will be hard, we will take them to one of my houses in town. I am very sorry. "

We made the salams in unison and an old frail looking woman sprang up from her sitting position on the mat. "Alhaji! Alhaji!! Alhaji I've started hallucinating seeing Abdulhamid again, this time with two other young men" she called out to my grandpa who's probably resting in the room.