LOST IDENTITY

Chapter Thirty Four

TASNEEM

I waited for his call which came through past midnight.  His voice sounded hoarse from crying,  mine too because ever since after dinner I lied about having a headache, locked my room and bawled my eyes out.

"Assalamu alaikum.  How are you? "

"Wa'alaikassalam,  how are you? " I asked the same question which made him sniff and sigh at the same time.

"Honestly I don't know,  am so overwhelmed with so many emotions I can't say whether I'm okay or not, happy or sad.  I still can't believe you waited for my call, God knows I almost didn't call and then I'd have offended you.  Are you really okay with being with me after knowing all the gory details of my life? " He rambled off,  he was never this nervous, he is always calm and collected even when I had surgery and now he's just so nervous all I want to do is tell him over and over again that I'm not going anywhere till it gets into his thick nervous skull.

"Uncle Mukarram do you believe in Allah?  In qadr and the fact that He is the Most forgiving Most Merciful? " I asked.

"Yes I do"

"Then know that what happened wasn't entirely your fault, your father and anyone who has the duty of taking care of you has his own share of all the misdeeds you've committed.  Come to think of it, you did it for attention right?  For them to notice you for once and show that they give a hoot about your dunyah and aakhira but they didn't, God so kind, He sent Uncle A your way who showed you the light right?  Ever since that day you've never gone any where near zinah,  you told me you detest it with passion and you've been regretful and remorseful about everything that happened in your past is that so? "

"Yes you're right" he mumbled.

"Do you think you'll be fair to yourself if you haven't told me everything about you?  All the dirty and beautiful things that made you you?  Love is accepting someone with all his flaws,  all the imperfect glitches that made up that person,  no one is perfect and no one will ever be. I'd rather always see your bad sides because then you'll give me the choice to accept you or not than your good sides which makes you put up a fake facade.

I am not saying I'm proud of you because of what you did, no sane person will be but wallahi I'm proud of the strength you showed by telling me even after knowing it might be the end for us" I wiped a lone tear cascading down my cheek.

"Are you sure you're 17?" of all the things to say in the world at a serious moment he chose to confirm my age.

"Wanna see my birth certificate?  Some of us are born to be wise you know " I joked, the tension in the air dissipating a little bit.

"Alhamdulillah,  if I die today,  tomorrow or next week, I'll surely die a happy man because Allah has blessed me with a gem,  a very rare one at that and I'm very thankful.  In shaa Allah all the things going wrong in our lives will soon become a thing in the past and I promise to always be there for you TasTas. Nagode da hakuri da karamcin ki (thanks for your patience and kindness)  I'll never let you down in shaa Allah and... " his words got choked up.

"Shhh Dan Allah ka daina kuka(please stop crying)  you're supposed to feel the weight lift off your shoulders, whatever is holding you back is gone now.  I'm here for you Mukky" I imitated uncle A's voice which cracked him up.

"I'll let the Mukky part slide just for today,  I'm too big to be given a childish nick name"

"Stop calling me TasTas and I'll surely never call you Mukky again, not even subconsciously" I smirked even though he can't see me.