LOST IDENTITY

Chapter Thirty Five

MUKARRAM

Maryam told us what no one expected to hear, what shocked us all to the core and what will humble us forever. It is an eye opener that beneath the surface of every person there is a rotten side tucked away somewhere safe, out of the reach of everyone.

I've always believed that there's more to everyone than meets the eye but for the life of me I can't wrap my head around how someone that has been born and brought up into a good family lineage, a person that came out of someone as good, kind and religious like Mamma will do such a terrible thing to herself because she was unfortunate to have a husband who has no fear of his Lord. Someone who has no shame and chases this world like it's not coming to an end sooner rather than later.

"Mukky, Mamma wants to speak to you" Ahmad jolted me out of my thoughts with a hoarse voice. We have been at the emergency ward for hours and when the nurse told us that Mamma is stable I asked him to meet her first.

"Is she okay? Can she talk? What happened? " I asked fearing to hear the worst because Mamma is like a mother to me now, she gives me all the love and care I've always wanted, supported me when even my father couldn't and accepted me after knowing my past at the time she doesn't know about our blood relationship.

"In shaa Allah she will be fine, our Mamma is a strong woman, she won't give up easily" Ahmad said leading the way to the room she was admitted in.

I saw her frail figure in bed, breathing heavily but despite the pain she must have been feeling she smiled at us, motioning with her hands for me to come closer.

I had been strong, holding my emotions for the sake of Ahmad and Maryam. I didn't cry nor showed any sign of emotion to console them but right that moment I wasn't so strong anymore and I broke down in tears clutching her hands to mine like my life depends on it.

"Shhh I'm okay now Mukky, I am fine."she consoled with a tired voice. It was then that I noticed Maryam sniffling in a corner of the room. Her head must be hurting like hell because she has been crying nonstop for hours.

"May Allah grant you quick shifaa Mamma, you scared us all. Please don't take anything to heart okay? You're old and we don't want anything bad to happen to you. please let's take things one step at a time and submit our affairs to Allah. You being sick won't change a thing, it will only make things worse for us. I pray that you'll be your normal self by tomorrow in shaa Allah and then we will think of how to handle things " I said, feeling like asking Allah for the power to rewind time to when we got home so that I'll just leave Maryam without giving her the cake, not saying anything to her or glancing her way.

"In shaa Allah. Take Maryam to Hadiza's house. I don't want anyone to know about what is going on yet. God bless you dear" turning to Ahmad she said " Ahmad stop crying it's enough, I'm okay now all of you should get some rest"

"I'm staying here with you" he protested, conviction laced in his tone.

"Yes we are staying with you Mamma, I'll just drop Maryam off and come back with food" I affirmed. Ahmad gave me a grateful smile while Maryam followed me after wishing Mamma goodnight and quick recovery.

"It's all my fault. I should have made a story and lie to you guys about everything. Mamma is my life, how can I live with myself knowing that I've caused her this much pain? " she wailed.

"Nothing is your fault Maryam, telling us the truth is the best thing to do. You should know by now that the truth always set you free. What if you lie about everything and the truth comes out eventually, do you think she will be cool with it then? You should always tell the truth no matter the consequences because it's better to be hated for being honest than being a liar" I advised contemplating in my mind whether to call Tasneem or just give her a surprise.