We just got home and put the kids to bed. But it definitely was not easy.
Hunter went to sleep immediately but then Ellie and Hayden weren't cooperating and didn't want to sleep so they were yelling which woke Hunter up.
And then Jack took Hayden to fall asleep which made Ellie tired and so she fell asleep. But then Hunter was crying so I had to get him to sleep
And it just was a big mess
But we did it and now we are relaxing
"Guess what" I say as I watch Jack go through instagram
"What"
"Ellie has a crush on Daniel and wants us to go on a date so he can watch her"
"Aw that's adorable"
"I know so I really think we should go on a date. You know for Ellie"
"Or we could just invite Dani over wouldn't that be a whole lot easier and inexpensive"
"Seriously Jack"
"What"
"You have no idea how much you saying that hurts my feelings"
"What did I do"
"You never take me on dates, never spend time with me, all I want sometimes is a hug, and it's just tiring. Most times I feel like you aren't in love with me anymore and it hurts Jack, it really fucking hurts. It hurts cause I am madly in love with you and you barely feel the same"
"Oh baby. I am so so so sorry. I am so far away from not being in love with you. I think I'm actually too in love with you that I forget to show you. You deserve so much better than what I have been giving you. And I promise you that once all the kids are in school we will be able to spend all the time we want together"
"I can't wait that long. I want our kids to remember us as always loving each other"
"I want to give you everything you want and need and more. I don't want to ever go back to my old ways in high school."
"I don't want you to either. We have to do something about this. Anything. I like being close with you"
"We could always try counseling"
"What-"
"Listen I know it's a stretch and we aren't in that bad of a situation but I rather be safe then sorry. And maybe if we go to counseling then we can get better. I can learn how to be better for you and your needs and you can learn how to talk to me when things like this cross your mind."
"I understand"
"So what do you say, do you want to do counseling with me"
"Yes I do. I want to fix this early before it becomes a real big problem. But I don't want the kids to find out. I don't want them to think we don't love each other cause I know how hard it is to watch your parents fight"
"Did your parents fight"
"All the time. And it wasn't until my dad got cancer that my mom took a step back and realized that there was nothing that important to fight about. And honestly the only thing that my family was fighting for was his cancer to be cured"
"I'm so so so sorry. This just makes me want to work 100 times harder at our relationship"
"Me too"
"Okay well tomorrow after we bring Hayden to school do you want to go and look for places"
"Yes"
