well i had a really bad dream
i dreamt that me and Jack had another stupid stupid fight and he ended up hitting me
then he left the house, divorced me, and took all the kids away making me not able to see them ever again
yeah worst dream ever. however i know if that ever happened he wouldn't take the kids away.
only i can handle them
in the middle of the night at 2 A.M after my dream well nightmare i quickly get out of lily's bed and instead decide to sleep on the couch
i have a feeling that it will only make him more mad if i stay sleeping in her bed so the couch is the only other option
its really uncomfortable and i wish i could just sleep with Jack
as i start to get comfortable i hear someone come down the stairs
i turn over and see Jack walking down
i pretend to stay asleep and see what he's going to do
first he wipes his eyes and walks over to me
i feel him place his hand on my back and kiss my forehead
"i'm so sorry baby i love you so much i just over reacted about the whole Lily thing. i hated hearing you say that you think I don't love or care or like you. cause i do and i love you more than anyone, i care about you more than i've ever cared about anyone, and i like you more than anyone. i hate fighting with you and i hate that you're sleeping on the couch and not with me. i wish i just let everything go and kissed you. anyways i'm going to pick you up and bring you into our room cause i need you and i don't want your back to be messed up." he stands up and picks me up carrying me towards our room
he places me down and kisses my cheek
i pretend to wake up and kiss him back
"i love you" i tell him
"oh you're awake"
"yeah i didn't want to get you mad by sleeping with lily"
"i wouldn't be. i'm just tired of you never wanting to sleep with me and always wanting to sleep with lily"
"i'm sorry it's just when i'm upset she makes me feel better cause i know she loves me a lot and when we're fighting she makes me remember why we're together"
"i love you a lot too"
"i know that but when we're fighting i feel like you hate me and i know that's dumb but i just get worried. and the worst part about it is sometimes you get so upset and i feel like you might hit me"
"baby... i will never hit you"
"i know i know but the worst thoughts go through my head"
"i understand. can we promise to never fight again"
"yes please"
"just always remember no matter what i will always love you and you're my absolute best friend and favorite person in this world okay. i will never hurt you and i want you to remember that"
"okay. i love you too jack"
"now come on let's have some midnight sex" he rolls on top of me and i start laughing
"i'm already enjoying this"
