whatever it takes - odell beckham jr.

chapter six

six years ago..

i'm doing my best to try and keep my mind off the fact ira is sitting incredibly close to me. her car is so small that it doesn't really leave much room for the both of us and being this close to her is turning out to be much more harder than i imagined it to be.

when we first got into the car, she chattered away, thanking me endlessly for saving her from the gym. i managed to get a thank you out to her, for dropping her whole damn day for me. but in all honesty, some of my words got stuck in my throat.

no one has ever been this kind to me. ira put my needs first today, well above her own.

as i sit next to ira and listen to her sing along to every song on the radio and every so often glance over at me with a smile, i suddenly know what it feels like to be in love with someone.

of course, that person would have to be her. the one single person that i absolutely cannot have.

i lean back and close my eyes, trying to block out the vision of her, but it's impossible.

how is it, that you can be doing just fine in life, and then you meet one person, one single person, and suddenly, you're all spun out, and unable to think about anything else but them?

"what's your favourite kind of music?" she breaks the silence, as we speed along the highway.

"i'm not sure, it's hard to pick a favourite. i guess." i keep my eyes turned towards the window.

"i agree."

out of the corner of my eye, i see her point to the glove department. "if you want to change what i'm playing, you can grab one of those cd's in there."

"what you're playing is fine."

i continue to keep my eyes focused out of the window, watching the trees and other cars fly by. iras' sweet voice surrounds me, as she continues to sing.

and as ira continues to belt out the words, i can no longer focus on anything else but her. she nails the chorus, looking at me for just a second before she begins to sway slightly to the music as the words leave her lips.

"i don't see nothing wrong," she sings, before winking at me. "with a little bump and grind.."

she's singing sex music, the kind of music that makes you want to fuck–damn.

my dick begins to throb as it grows, becoming uncomfortably hard in my sweatpants. i bite my bottom lip hard, trying to pull my focus away from the thoughts of sexual intercourse that this song evokes in me, before finally, scrambling to find a different cd.

"aw, you don't like r kelly?" she pouts as i pop the cd out and slide another one in.

"he's alright. you don't mind if i change it, right?"

"it's fine. but next time, at least let me finish my song." no fucking way are we ever listening to that song again, ever.

drake begins to blast through the speakers and i sit back in my seat.

we don't speak for the rest of the drive, at least, nothing more than about changing the cd's. the silence around us allows me to wrap my mind around the fact i'm about to see my mom for the first time in three months. and it's probably gonna be the last time.

she's never actually been much of a mother to me. well, not like a mother should be.

the only good thing that she ever did for me was to manage to stay off drugs while she was carrying me. i wasn't born addicted to the same stuff as her, but after she gave birth to me, it was basically her ticket to being able to go right back to the way she had been before.

she never knew who my dad was, or if she did, she pretended not to. and while when i was younger, she tried to hide her addiction from me, the older i got, the more obvious it became to me that she had a problem.

i used to catch her hanging outside of our many slum lord apartments, shooting up with whoever else was hanging around.

i was always on my own, but honestly, growing up the way i did only gave me drive. a roaring fire within me to never turn out the way that she had.

i've always known that football was my ticket out of that life.

one of my moms' many boyfriends—one of the few who was a decent guy—had signed me up for a little league when i was maybe six. i instantly fell in love with the sport, and while i didn't have many other times on a team—since my mom never had the money to sign me up for one—i still had raw talent.

i worked on my own for a long time, helping and coaching myself. when middle school came around, i finally got noticed by some coaches who managed to snag me some equipment. from there the rest has been history.

and from where i'm sitting now, especially since omari copeland has taken me in, a full ride football scholarship is so close, so close i can almost taste it.

too bad the only thing that my mind seems to want to focus on tasting these days is ira. a shame.

shortly after a while, we pull up to the gates of the prison.

i try not to notice the way that her eyes widen as she takes in the tall fences and barbed wires, or the way she flinches when she sees the guard tower, noticing the guns that rest out of the windows.

unable to help myself, i reach out for her hand. "don't worry, ira. you're safe."

"i know," she nods, glancing over at me. "i know that you won't let anything happen."

she parks the car, before surveying the scene to see all the other people getting out of their cars for visiting day.

"i, ah." she bites her lip. "i was just going to wait in the car, but–"

"you're not waiting in the car. as much as i hate to bring you here, you're not leaving my side until i find a safe place for you to be." i get out of the car, jogging over to her side. as she gets out, i wrap one arm around her waist to pull her snugly against me before leading us up the sidewalk. her hand squeezes my waist, as i lead her through the doors. "we gotta be searched, alright?"

"they search us?"

"yeah. i mean, they have to make sure we're not smuggling anything in for the inmates."

"fuck!" her eyes widen as she pulls back. "so, i should probably lose the three joints that are stuffed in my bra?"

"what?" i bark as an officer begins to approach us. once again i pull her next to me, before bringing my mouth to her ear. "you seriously stuffed joints into your bra and brought them into a prison?" i hiss, panic settling in.

"no." she smirks. "but, i got you though." she pokes me in the stomach, letting out a giggle. "wow, you should of seen your face." she bats her eyes before turning her face up towards mine. "you were fuhreeking out."

"really cute, babe." i mutter, ignoring the way her eyebrows raise at my term of endearment.

"c'mon." i wrap my arm around the back of her, pulling her forward until i'm forced to let go and allow us both to be searched. she's pulled in a separate direction towards a female officer, but i keep her within my eyesight the entire time.

we're finally reunited and placed into the waiting room.

"i'm glad they didn't find your stash." i smirk at her, watching her grin.

"me too. i put them in a special place."

"crazy ass." i mutter, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her tightly against me. she takes a deep breath before allowing herself to rest against me, snuggling her head into the crook of my neck.

suddenly, i'm no longer focused on the fact that i'm here today, pretty much to tell my mother goodbye. in fact, i'm not even dreading it at all. i feel like everything's right in the world.

she may only be swaddled up in me for safety right now, but i can't help but let myself imagine what it would be like to have her like this every day.