whatever it takes - odell beckham jr.

chapter twelve

six years ago..

i swallow hard, trying to force down the ball of nerves that seem to be sitting right at the bottom of my throat. i feel like i could throw up.

when odell first went away to university, everything between us stayed the same. i'd fall asleep on the phone with him every night, letting my eyes close as his voice washes over me, hearing him tell me how much he loved and missed me.

things stayed like that for months. and even though we were incredibly far apart, i still felt like i was a huge part in his world.

he put in so much effort, letting me know that i was always on his mind.

i don't remember if i can pinpoint exactly when things began to change, but somewhere along the way, they did. it was a more of a slow progression until suddenly, things began to go downhill a lot faster.

one morning he never called me. and then the next night, the same thing. ever so slowly, he started to call me less and less. until i received a phone call that made my heart still.

it was pretty ballsy of that girl to call me. and while i appreciate the fact that she had enough character to let me know that she slept with my boyfriend, still. it doesn't ease my carousel of emotions. i can't believe i'm in this position.

during the entire 2 hour flight here, i've gone back and forth so many times, through every conversation we've had. has it all been a lie?

not even a full month ago, i heard a rumour that odell was cheating on me. i had immediately called him up on it and he had sworn up and down that it wasn't true.

i had tried so hard to believe him, and i had even debated on giving him another chance if he had. call me young and stupid, it's fine. i deserve it.

i pay the taxi driver that parked outside of odells' house, the same damn house where the rest of his football team lives. and possibly his new girlfriend.

it takes me a minute to calm down, as i walk on wobbly legs up the sidewalk until i'm standing at the front door. i hesitate, with my hand on the doorknob, before taking a deep breath and walking inside.

i'm strong enough to handle this, i tell myself. even though at this moment, i'm not feeling strong at all.

i continue my pep talk, walking up the stairs and along the hallway to odells' bedroom.

"oh, shit. my bad."

one of the other football players nearly rams into me in the hallway, his eyes widening as i reach for the door handle.

"ira, hey." he quickly jumps in front of me. "odell isn't here."

"how you know my name?" watching him remove my hand off of the handle.

"dell's told me about you before. but look, he's at practice. you know, if you head to the field right now, you might be able to catch him." my intuition kicks into overdrive at the panicked look on his face.

"really?" my hand pauses on the handle again. "so, if i left right now, i would see him?"

"yeah." he tries to force himself in front of me, and if i didn't already know, this move just completely gave him away.

"fuck outta my face." i mutter, pushing past him and yanking the door open.

i step inside of the room, and if my heart hadn't already been shattered–well, the sight in front of me would be finish it.

i can't even cry, i can't really do anything besides stand there, watching the scene in front of me play out, almost as if it was stuck in slow motion.

"ira?"

"you fucking piece of shit!"

it barely comes out as any sound at all since it just gets stuck behind the huge lump in my throat. so instead of embarrassing myself any further, i spin on one heel, running as fast as my legs would carry me, down the steps and out the front door.

"ira, baby. please!" odell is running after me, a pair of gym shorts hastily pulled up over his just a second ago naked body.

"don't." i scream, jerking my arm away before he could reach me. "do not touch me!"

"baby." his voice is broken and pleading as i ring for a taxi.

"i am so sorry. so fucking sorry." he continues, still following me. "please let me explain."

i end my phone call, spinning around to push him hard on his chest.

"you don't get to explain shit to me, odell. you lost that right the second you decided to sleep with someone else. and don't try and gimme some bullshit excuse, i've given you enough of my time. you promised me, odell. you fucking promised."

with my last words, the sob that i had been holding in slips out, and every other word inside of me dies. i'm crying so hard i can barely see in front of me. but even so, i continue to move as fast as i can away from him.

"i have no excuse, ira. i–i don't know what to say."

"you don't gotta say anything! and frankly, i don't give a fuck about anything right now except getting far away from your cheating ass."

"i'm so sorry, baby. i love you. don't do this."

he tries to reach out for me again, but i'm already inside of the taxi, shutting the door beside me and winding down the window.

"fuck you, odell. we're over. so fucking over! i hope to god i never have to see your fucking face again. go head and rot in hell!"