whatever it takes - odell beckham jr.

chapter eleven

six years ago..

"i can't believe you're gonna be so far away. it's hella depressing knowing you ain't down the hall from me." ira tucks herself underneath my arm and i squeeze her tight.

"let's be honest. when was the last time i was actually down the hall?" i smirk, making her blush in true ira fashion.

but in all seriousness, the only time i stay in my room or she stays in hers are the hours her dad is awake.

over the last six months, we have hidden our relationship from just about everyone. but that doesn't mean our relationship hasn't grown. the thought of having to be away from her is real hard, but i know it's necessary. it's been the plan all along.

i mean, a full college scholarship had always been in the plans. it's only been my plan.

when all the offers came in, i had strongly considered a lower division school, just so i could stay close to ira. but she had been insistent, saying that i needed to make the best move for my future.

because unlike anyone else, ira wants what's best for me and not just what would benefit her the most.

louisiana was the only university that i received an offer from. and to achieve my goals, it was really the best decision i could ever make. so i accepted it.

she sighs hard before sinking into me, resting her face on my chest as i stroke her hair.

we've been building up the urge for me to leave for at least an hour. she's gotten up and took me to the airport, and we've said our goodbyes. but then just as fast, one of us is pulling the other back. and, well. here we are.

"i really should get going. i don't wanna miss my flight."

"yeah, definitely." neither of us moves an inch.

"you know this is only temporary, right?"

"four years isn't very temporary."

"if i get offered something, i'm gonna leave school and take it. i'm gonna work my ass so that i can make this happen for us. i'm gonna go pro, and then you're coming with me. that's the plan."

"well, don't make any moves this year. i'm not really planning on adding high school dropout to my résumé."

"deal."

another fifteen minutes later and i pull back. "i really need to leave this time."

"right."

as the both of us got out of her car, i take her small hand in mine as we walk to the airport entrance.

one of the bonuses to being on a sports scholarship is the housing. i'll be living in this huge old house with the rest of the football team, which is nice because it means that we get our very own space and separate bedrooms.

"you can come and stay with me every weekend."

"you already know i can't come, we would have to tell my dad about us if i do. because he's not gonna be happy with me travelling across the country by myself. and also i don't know how he would react."

"he's gonna find out soon enough, baby. we might as well just tell him."

she sighs. "we'll get to that, okay? let's just, get through the first few months first."

"right."

"yeah."

her face falls once we make it inside of the airport, and i reach down, putting one finger underneath her chin and forcing her to look into my eyes. "talk to me ira."

taking a deep breath, she pulls away from me. "what do you think our chances are, odell? what do you think our percentage of working this out is? ten, fifteen?"

"what kind of question is that?"

"do you even know the statistics for long distance relationships? i mean, some of them are barely touching the scale of successful. it's pretty low."

"ira, baby. what are you tryna say?"

"nothing. it's just, i don't know." she shrugs, before leaning into my chest. "it just feels like for the last six months, we've been living in our own little bubble. and now the real world is calling. i don't wanna lose you, odell. but it seems like the odds are stacked against us."

"i'm certain that we're gonna make it, ira. and quit it with this kind of talk. sure, maybe other people's relationships haven't worked out. but that's them and not us."

"okay. but i do think we should consider the fact that–"

"you know this is the whole reason why your dad took me in to begin with. to get my life and grades on track so that i could get a football scholarship. the whole endgame here has always been for me to become a professional. and if that doesn't work out, at least i'll have a college education to fall back on. for a guy like me, ira, i don't have a lot of options. i don't have any other plans. this is it for me."

"i know, i know. i'm just scared."

i cup my hands over her cheeks. "i love you so much, okay? you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and i don't care how much distance comes between us. what i'm doing here, it's not just for me. it's for our future."

"i know."

"a big house, flashy car." i grin down at her, making her roll her eyes before reaching out and swatting my stomach.

"yeah, yeah. i've heard that before."

"and to make it better, a ring on your finger. giving you anything in this world you want."

"but i don't need any of that stuff, odell. i just want you."

"and you will always have me."

i pull her into my arms, as i watch her face sadden. "nothing's gonna change my love for you, you're it for me. hold on to that."

i try to ignore the questioning look in her eye. she's hesitant, and i know it.

the only problem here is that i can already and literally feel her slipping away from me. i'm not sure what's giving me this uneasy feeling, but it's rearing its' ugly head.

maybe it's just this whole conversation?

or maybe it's the look in her eyes as i watch her get into her car as she waves goodbye to me one last time.

because even though i've told her a million times that she's the only one for me, as she leaves–it's almost like she's saying goodbye. for good.