whatever it takes - odell beckham jr.

chapter thirteen

"do you realise who you left me with last night at the bar?" lily squeals before clutching my arm. "i should thank you for ditching out early. that fine piece of ass that was up in here? that was odell beckham jr. he is the shit. didn't you recognise him? he's famous!" she nudges me, before pulling me closer and whispering into my ear. "and i think he had a total thing for you. he asked a lot of questions."

inwardly, i cringe. i for one, am not starstuck by odell like i should be. to me, he's still the same guy that he used to be. the same guy who promised me everything and then the second i was out of his sight, he made a complete fool out of me.

odell cares about one thing and one thing only, himself. and no matter how rich, or how famous he's become, that's the one thing that hasn't changed.

"why are you not freaking out?" lily asks, stepping back and giving me an inquisitive look. "this is huge. he really liked you."

"and i really don't care, lily. you know damn well i ain't looking for a man right now. i have the only man that i need in my life and he's plenty."

she rolls her eyes. "adonis doesn't count, ira. he's a little boy, and you, are a beautiful woman in your prime. maybe it's time you settle down with someone, and who better to settle down with than him?"

i step past her, shrugging off my jacket. "i'll pass."

"ira-reice." sienna sticks her head out of the office, waving her hand to signal me in. i leave lily standing there as i turn on one foot, heading to the office with a sullen look on my face.

"yes, sienna?" i question, as soon as i force my focus onto her.

"your landlord dropped this off for you today." a pink envelope is pushed towards me, making my heart drop to my feet. "he said that he's been tryna get in touch with you but failed to do so." i nod slowly, staring at the envelope, knowing damn well what's inside of it. "don't be bringing your personal affairs into this establishment, got it?"

"alright. i'm sorry, sienna." i say, even though inside of my head, i'm mentally cussing her out while slapping her silly. this bitch needs some dick.

"it's a sad day when a landlord has to show up here to evict someone." sienna rolls her eyes, making my jaw drop. "it's a shame, you know? you young women think that you're just gonna get by on your looks alone." she raises her eyebrows in my direction, before nodding her head towards the letter.

"how do you know it's an eviction notice?" i glance down at it, but my mouth sets into a flat line when i see that not only did sienna receive it, she also took it upon herself to open it. "you know, opening someone else's mail is against the law." i cross my arms and glare at her.

"so? sue me." she snarls, motioning angrily towards the envelope. "get that vile thing off my desk."

"will do." i nearly growl, grabbing the envelope and managing to walk out of the office with my head still held high. i shove it into my pocket, the feeling of dread taking over me.

i've always prided myself on being able to do everything on my own. i've put myself through school, paid my own way through life, and managed to support my son completely on my own without ever asking for help.

i mean i do already have a bachelor's degree. i could probably get a better job. but without a master's degree in social work, i can't do the job that i went to school for. and if i'm being perfectly honest, after paying for daycare from whatever job i could get now with my degree, i may not be any better off.

but i know i could do better. adonis deserves better than what i'm giving him right now.

it's just that money is always so tight. i feel like i'm barely getting by, and since my landlord likes to increase the rent just when i think i've finally caught up, i'm kicked back down again.

college hasn't been cheap either. especially since i dropped out of grad school, i've had to pay back my student loans. however i could go home to michigan.

i so could. but, my dad has been so proud of me, bragging to everyone about how smart and hardworking i am, managing by myself here in chicago, juggling a child and work all while being in grad school. because like a chicken, i haven't mentioned to him that i've dropped out.

i inhale sharply, deciding that i'll just wait until later to open the letter. no point in knowing the inevitable right now.

⚭

"why do you wanna go back to that bar? there were literally no girls there last night. landon needs to have some fun tonight, and so does mr. landon. if you get what i mean."

i roll my eyes and shake my head, furrowing my eyebrows. "you know what? you creep me the fuck out when you talk about yourself and your dick in third person. you need some serious help."

"yes, i do. in the form of boobs and p–"

"stop, man. i get it."

"you asked." he shrugs, before banging on otto's door. "lewis!" he shouts, hitting the door with his fist again. "let's go to the bar."

"fuck off, landon." he replies.

"listen, beckham. you go head to that shit hole of a bar if you want. meanwhile, i'm gonna find a better place to waste my time and money."

"suit yourself." i smile, turning towards the elevator. "just don't do something retarded and get yourself in shit."

"ease up, odell. like that ever happens." i raise an eyebrow at him, and even he can't keep a straight face. landon is always getting himself, and usually me, into trouble. but, not today. today, i'm steering clear of his antics. i need to see if ira is working.

this time though, i'm not gonna insult her or do anything that's gonna piss her off for that matter. i wanna talk to her. i wanna find out what in the hell she's been doing for the last six years. and maybe see if there's any chance she's still got the feelings for me.

because if there's even a glimmer of hope where she's concerned? i'm gonna go for it.

i'm man enough to admit where i've made mistakes in my life, and i can tell you, no mistake i've made is greater than the ones that caused me to lose her love.

back then, i was a stupid kid who had been let down way too many times in life. the second i started to feel her slip away from me, i panicked.

at the time, i had thought that if i pushed her away, if i was the reason for the split, then losing her wouldn't hurt so badly. except it hurt like a bitch.

instead of doing things to push her away, i should have tried harder. i should of done everything that i could think of to let her know how much she meant to me. instead, i fucked it all up.