"Bo, you've shown your fans your weakness. You have brought down your walls for everyone and opened yourself to them. Is there anything you are afraid of?"
I smiled slightly at the structure of the interviewer's words. The way she presented them contrasted to the semi-sweet message she attempted to portray. "There is obviously things I'm worried about," I tell her with a nod. "I'm human after all. But the truth is, the thing I feel I will regret the most is not being able to find a love to cherish."
Her face grew the familiar look of pity. "Oh, that's right. You've had it tough, haven't you? Well, your fans have supported you this far! To come from an orphanage and practically raise yourself I give you my applause!"
Oh, tsk. Bite my--
"Thank you. Truly, I cherish my fans very much. I'd like to thank you for having me here and giving them," I gesture to the large arena of fans. "This chance to be here as well. They worked hard for this interview."
She couldn't respond. We both bid our goodbyes and the session ended. I waved to all my fans, my heart drumming against my chest as I smiled happily at them.
Bo Miyoung. A famous, well-known star who was popular for the past seven years. Myself. Someone who has struggled for many years to even become a trainee, let alone an idol. A star.
A slowly dying star.
It had been already a few months since I found out about my cancer. It was one of the worst moments in life, truthfully. There was stress practically eating me alive by that time, I didn't need another thing to do it as well. Honestly, I lost it at the mention of cancer, practically sobbing my heart out in my best friend's arms.
When I started to come to the realization that the reason I felt so drained all the time was because of cancer, it hurt. A lot. I felt like my life was coming to a hurling end. Yet, I almost appeared relieved. Relaxed. Unfazed. To the public eye, at least.
My fans were becoming more considerate, possibly knowing first or second hand that this is not an easy thing. Some may have lost their loved ones due to cancer as well. It's really hard to say what they are feeling and why, I just appreciate the support I do get.
None of them know, yet, how long I have left. None of them know how much my heart ached when I realized I wouldn't be able to find my true love. I grew up in an orphanage, where I practically swallowed myself whole with fantasy romance stories that I believed would come true. I became an idol over time, but that didn't mean the dream stopped.
None of them truly knew everything. I would prefer it that way, to be honest, because it was safer for everyone not to know everything. My past isn't full of the brightest memories out there, and I hate having negative feelings. It would be best to keep some things private, to conceal some of their pain.
I never thought, as I walked into the backstage of an interview years ago, to go to my next schedule, that I would run into possibly one of the most beautiful men ever to be seen. I had stumbled shortly into him, immediately jerking myself back so that the crashing didn't last long. Despite this, my cheeks had still flushed pink.
"I'm sorry!" I said quite loudly, feeling the embarrassment crawl under my skin as I watched his reaction.
The beautiful man smiled and shook his head, brushing himself off and standing up straight. "It's alright, it was my fault too. Are you okay?" His gorgeous brown eyes looked down to me with concern, making my heart flutter randomly.
[I]No wait.
[I]That's not how it went.
Actually, when I stumbled into him, I had no balance. I was falling so fast and hard that when I slammed into him, he fell back in surprise. Unfortunately it wasn't a cute moment like in the movies, no, I tumbled down with my arms out, reaching for something to stable myself.
