Eun Woo→Lee Dongmin
The silence in the air was sufficating me. I could understand why he was silent, but I wish he wasn't. I hoped he would take back the unspoken words I knew he was trying to say, but it was impossible. I wanted this moment to end just as quickly as it started. For me, it seemed my hopes were just too high, though.
I couldn't help it anymore and I let out a quiet sob. At that point, I knew nothing good would come out of this. I didn't want to lift my head to see his expression as I cried because of my heart. It hurt too much for me to bear the pain.
"Please," he whispered beside me. "Don't do this to me."
I'm sorry.
I knew my tears didn't make the situation any easier. It was difficult enough already. "I-I don't want to," I responded, roughly wiping my tears from my cheeks. "I don't want to do anything."
"Don't make this harder. Please, don't."
I felt my heart throb from the torture I was being put through. My lips were quivering the harder I tried to stay quiet.
Is this what they meant when they said you would never forget your first love?
"Dongm-min," I called hopelessly. His hand gripped my own tightly. "Don't go. Please."
He squeezed my hand. "I don't want to go either. But I," he sighed heavily and pulled me a bit closer. "I have to."
I listened to his weak voice as he spoke to me. My heart clenched and didn't let go as he held my hand tightly. "Dongmin."
Dongmin's free hand lifted my head from my knees. "Please don't cry over me." He leaned closer so he could place a light kiss on my forehead. "Please."
I shook my head in denial of what he was asking from me. The tears spilled profusely. "No, no! I won't cry if you don't leave. D-don't leave me, okay?" I continued to shake my head, wishing everything would stop and turn out to be a bad dream.
"Bab-" He cut off his words abruptly, making me suck in a sharp breath. "I don't want to leave you either. If I could, I would stay here forever. But I can't," he looked into my eyes. "I can't stay here and let the world stop moving for only me. There is other people I have to move on for."
"Dongmin! Think of yourself for once!" I patted my chest several times to catch his attention. "Think of me! Think of who you are going to leave behind."
"Don't leave because other people want you too," I whispered, my voice cracking in between. "If you leave, it has to be for you."
Dongmin disagreed. "I can't always think of myself. At times like these, I have to be there for other people. My mom, my dad; they all need me."
I enclosed my hand around his. "And what about me? Will you be there for me?"
"Listen, its-"
I cut him off. "Will you, Lee Dongmin, be there for me?!"
He let out a heavy breath, making sure to make eye contact before answering. "No, I can't."
"Then don't leave."
"Please, don't make this hard."
"I don't think this will get any easier," I state, wiping the incessant tears. "Why is it so hard to say goodbye? It hurts, Dongmin. It hurts so, so much."
"Listen to me, alright?" He brought himself closer to me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. " I love you, I treasure you a lot." His hand squeezed mine again.
"I'm sorry for not saying those earlier, because I mean it, I love you so much.
They're shameless words, but I want you to remember this love as a fresh first love. I want you to think of me as someone you can look back onto with a smile."
My eyes met his as I looked up. "But I don't want it to end. I won't have to look at us as a past memory."
He nodded, placing his forehead onto mine. I could feel his body shake and I realized he wasn't taking this as easy as I thought. My hand reached up towards his chest and planted on his heart. "I know, baby. I don't want to think of us as a memory either."
I could feel the light thumping of his slow heart beat under my palm. My head tilted back until I rested on his shoulder. "I'm not going to say goodbye," I tell him, clearing my voice in the process. "B-but," I sighed. "I will let you leave in peace. Just please, please stay with me right now."
"The person who always cried and laughed with me; the person I'm thankful for: my first love, my eternal love, is you." He kissed the top of my head.
Song reference: Innocent Love
