Hand in Hand

Chapter 21

Don and Meryl spent some time just holding each other after they talked; Don wanted to run out the door and confront his mother more than anything; but knew what his wife needed was just a quiet moment with him. Soon the babies were awake; which seemed to cheer her up. However, there were times when she was nursing each of them that she just got really quiet and stared down at them; Don knew his wife better than anyone and he knew she was thinking about how his mother not only tried to stop her from taking the babies with her but also how she tried to keep Don and Henry from her only hours after she was raped. Whenever Don would sense her retreating within herself he would try to make her smile with a bad joke or talk about the kids or how much he loved her knowing those things always brought a smile to her face, which they did. Don wanted to go at her pace, but really wanted to go speak to his mother, so they soon loaded up to go back out to his parents' house on Geist Lake. Meryl said she could drive the rental car and he could take his father's car back with the babies in it if he was worried about something happening to them since she wasn't released to drive yet; Don grabbed her head in his hands and pressed his lips to hers telling her it would shatter him if ANYTHING happened to his "girl"; and that they could arrange for his father's car later. He wanted all of them to be together; which brought another much needed smile to his wife's face.

***
Meryl had insisted she ride in the back with he babies on the way out to Brad and Jane's house which was unusual, and Don wanted her up front with him; but he knew what happened with his mother stirred up all kinds of shit for his wife so he wanted her to do what she needed. As he turned the corner to the lake he looked in the rear view mirror and could see his wife staring at her wedding rings, wiping away her tears. He reached back to rub her leg with his free hand. "Baby, are they asleep?"

"Yeah, they are." Meryl said looking up when she felt him slow down and pull to the side of the road and put the car in park. "What are you doing?"

Don reached over and opened the front passenger door, patting the empty seat beside him. "I would like to have my wife come sit up here with me."

"Oh." Meryl smiled weakly as she got up and sat next to him. "I can't argue with that."

Don winked at her as he kissed her hand; noticing she was trembling. "Baby, are you cold?"

"No..." Meryl whispered. "It's just."

Don knew it was about what happened earlier with his mother but he wanted to know exactly what she was thinking about, what was making her shake. "What, Darl? It's just what?"

"It's not even what she said to me." Meryl said as Don got a shocked look on his face. "I mean it partly was; but I got used to not being good enough in her eyes."

Don's heart twisted that she felt that. "I NEED you to know that you are TOO good in my eyes and heart."

"Just as you are too good in mine; and in all reality." Meryl smiled tearfully at him. "It's more than that. This past year I have truly felt accepted by her. We have been through so much together. She asked me to stand up beside her at their wedding. She stood up with us at our renewal. She has said how important I was. She said the words I longed to hear. And now she says it was all an act? It hurts so badly."

Don pulled her to him as he held her tightly. "I am so fucking pissed off about that. I was so glad she FINALLY saw what I've known and felt for over 34 years-that there has only ever been one woman for me and that is YOU. The way she manipulated you, manipulated us is sickening. It makes me so fucking mad. I am so sorry, baby."

"Don Man, NONE of this is your fault." Meryl choked against his neck. "The last thing I wanted was for this trip to be like this and to upset you."