Hand in Hand

Chapter 10

Meryl was beginning to worry as she walked all through the bottom floor of their penthouse apartment with the babies when she couldn't find her husband. Surely he didn't leave. She began to worry that he did leave and her heart literally broke in two when she thought that he could have left; but then she reminded herself that wasn't her husband. It made her even more determined to find Don and apologize for the awful things she said. She looked down at their babies in her arms as she walked up the stairs as she continued to search for her husband; and was relieved that at least the babies had fallen asleep. She looked all through upstairs and couldn't find him and hoped he was in their bedroom. As she got closer to their bedroom she thought she heard her husband crying, and she felt sick thinking it was because of her. Once she walked through the door her breath caught in her throat when she saw her larger than life husband laying on the floor on their bedroom, on the bedding he had obviously stripped from the bed, crying. Her heart broke that she had caused him so pain that he was like this-not seeing the blood stains or the remnants from the EMTs on the floor. She immediately laid the babies on the bed, placing pillows around them so they didn't roll off, and laid down behind her husband and taking him into her arms. Meryl held her husband as close to her as possible while he continued to cry and she threw her leg over his while kissing around his ear and whispering into it. "I'm so sorry, baby. You are the best father and husband there is. You take amazing care of all of us; and always put us FIRST. You did the right thing giving them bottles. I'm so sorry, Don Man. I didn't mean any of what I said downstairs, sweetheart. I was absolutely awful to you, baby; and I hate myself for it. I came up here to tell you that."

"Thank God you're okay; oh, thank God." Don choked as he turned around and took his wife into his arms, holding her tightly. "I have no idea what I would have done if I lost you. I felt my life slip away last night when I saw you barely breathing and felt how weak your pulse was; and when the EMTs said they had to intubate you. I was so fucking scared. I've been avoiding our bedroom all day because then I knew I would have to remember the fear of almost losing you."

Meryl hadn't heard him talk about the night before quite like this; and it was obvious to her that was what he need to she just rubbed his back and encouraged him. "I'm right here, baby, because of you. I'm listening, sweetheart."

"I knew I needed to clean up in here for you so I made myself come in." Don closed his eyes as he breathed in the scent that was only his wife. "I walked in and saw your blood on the sheets from where the EMTs put in your IV, the blankets were strewn around the room from when they worked on you, wrappers from the bandages and the empty vial of medication they gave you were thrown around the room as well. I brought the sheets up to my nose and breathed in your scent, realizing that easily could have been the last time, and I lost it. The thought of how close you came to dying last night what just too much for me. Logically, I knew you were fine and were downstairs with our twins; but my heart couldn't take it. My heart couldn't take the possibility of having to figure out this life without you. I don't ever want that to happen. I am never supposed to be without you; that's now how my life is supposed to be. My life is meant to be spent with you through all of the ups and downs we experience. I don't care how many fucking downs there are; just as long as I navigate all those downs with you."

Meryl kissed her husband's head over and over as she held him as tightly as possible. "Thank God I have you to navigate all the downs with; I just need you, Donald Gummer. You saved my life last night; just as you have every day of our lives together." Meryl pulled away slightly so she could look into his eyes as she held his head in her hands. "I would be dead without the best damn husband and father in the world, I NEED you to know that. So, this isn't about what how unbelievably awful I was to you earlier downstairs?"

"What?" Don now remembered what she said when she first found him; he was so consumed with the thoughts of how he had almost lost her, that he didn't really hear what she said when she came in. "Of course not; I know you didn't mean it, Darl. Don't forget, I know you better than you know yourself; just as you know me better than ANYONE, even me!"