Randy||bxb||Roadtrip Oneshots

The End is the Beginning

Rye had been in different relationships through his youth, each lasting longer than the previous one. The first being a mere paragraph while others were chapters. The latest one being the most significant one yet. The same thing with the light of their time together, each of these relationships became more important. Rye knew this, and following this logic, the next would be better than the one he had shared with Jimmy.

Rye and Jimmy had spent two years together. In this period, they had grown very close. Rye had never been this close to anyone before, and he was intrigued, to say the least. Jimmy had often spoken about his previous relationships, how he would teach Rye to be better than them. That they had left and that Rye wouldn't, and if he did it would break him. The art student loved spending time with Rye, that's what the younger boy said. Rye didn't know if he really did, but he knew he loved the boy.

For Rye, there was always a sense of Jimmy feeling like he would leave the younger boy. The insecurity often causing jealousy. Rye really did love the other boy and often told him so. Nonetheless, he felt that maybe these feelings weren't returned but only held on to. Like he needed a pass time, but it was hard to let go when you had feelings like Rye did.

"Do you love me?" Jimmy had asked Rye after a couple months of being together.

"Of course I do, babe," Rye looked down at the shorter boy who was leaning on his shoulder.

"How much?" he insisted, Rye didn't like this question. He felt like he was a price, almost like a trophy, but there was no denying that he loved the boy. It hurt, a burning feeling in his chest. The singer desperately wanted to be more than a trophy, more than what he felt he was.

"From here," was all he said before he kissed the top of other boy's head and let him figure it out.

"Oh cut it out!" That was what he had said, he didn't think much about it and just let the insecurities get to him.

Ryan hated how this response got to him. Jimmy was known to have strong reactions, and Ryan was known for his acceptance of the situation. Rye let things be and tried his best not to start unnecessary conflict because he knew people were like him, human, who made mistakes just like him. Jimmy didn't know when it was better to accept that people couldn't read your mind.

Jimmy did feel that Rye should know how the younger boy felt, that it was apparent. Although he was scared to identify himself what it was, he was feeling. He wanted to love and to be loved in return. Jimmy was afraid of being alone and letting go, he knew it was wrong but when he had started getting feelings for the singer he had ditched his previous relationship, but only when Jimmy felt secure in his new one. This fear came from his childhood, being a lonely child. So when Rye had said those two words, the painter doubted every choice he had made. What if the brunet would leave before he had established a new relationship.

:::

Jimmy's fears came true, on a day when Rye felt especially like a trophy, that Jimmy loved the idea rather than him as a person; like the love wasn't reciprocated. They had been together for two years, and Rye just couldn't feel any love back. So he told Jimmy how he was feeling.

"I still love you, and that tears me apart because you don't feel the same way. You just love the idea of me," that was how he ended his monologue that ended a chapter of two years. Rye let the single tear slip from his eye before breathing in and walking away.

:::

Six months later - alone at the local pub - was when Rye again reflected on his relationship with Jimmy. He decided to officially close that part of his life. Mostly because he felt a part of his was still holding on to the hope of that continuing.

He sent a message, the message was sent to Jimmy, but mostly it would mean something to Rye. The art student probably had no clue what he meant, but that was beside the point.

To Here

That was it. When Jimmy had asked Rye that, Rye felt his answer had left that conversation as an opening and as that was left hanging it was still open. Rye didn't want that to be open anymore. For his own sake, everything between them needed to end so the subconscious in Rye could stop hoping for love that probably never existed.

He didn't get a reply, that didn't surprise him though. This wasn't for his ex, it was for himself. He closed that door and at the same time opened another. He didn't know what waited on the other side, but he hoped it would be better.

He put his phone down and exhaling still thinking about the last couple years of his life, but even though only minutes had passed, it was different. Rye picked his glass up drinking his pint slowly. The sigh that left his next was one of relief, he finally felt like he could let go and look forward. As his friends had told him to do for months, he realised now that it didn't matter that it had taken time. The brunet was still proud that he had done it.

He heard a man ordering next to him, looking over he saw a man that seemed to be his age. His eyes didn't leave the blond for a while, almost enchanted by the boy in front of him.

"Hey," Rye started, still eyeing the man. He felt something he hadn't before, and Rye wanted to explore that feeling if he could.

"Hi," the shorter replied returning the curious look the brunet was giving him with the same amount of awe.

It may not be as dramatic as in the movies, but Rye thought this was a great way to start a new chapter. Hopefully one a longer one, maybe even the beginning to his last. At least, in this book.

:::
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you liked it. Any request left on this book previously, I'm still working on. I need to come up with a plot(mostly for part two's, feel free to leave plot ideas for anything you want me to continue) and I'm super busy at the moment, but I'm trying.

If you posted the boys' cover of no brainer, please take it down.

Remember that you matter,

Jo xx