Randy||bxb||Roadtrip Oneshots

I miss myself

Relationship status: not together anymore

:::

Not only did Andy miss Rye, but everyone did; their parents, their friends, their fans, and basically anyone who had seen a picture of them together ever. Rye was the same. They both missed who they were around the other as well, and before. Their love was related to so much happiness, and the heartbreak was only associated with the empty feeling of nothing.

Everyone missed Rye and Andy as a pair. Rye had come into Andy's life and consequently into his friends' and family's life. Set deep roots in a blink of an eye, because he came already grown and mature, his roots had been lifted into their ground. And to them, it was like he had always been there. Little did Andy know that he had been the same for Rye and his family.

They had met when they were 24 and 26, both had already had most of their first. Nonetheless, it didn't stop Rye from blushing like crazy at each compliment after they woke up, Andy from looking away after each soft kiss, and it certainly didn't prevent them from going ballistic at Thorpe park together(wearing their public disguise so they could be outside and unbothered - not that it worked).

Everyone had seen them come together, two perfectly whole and functional people. Just together they were happier. That was why not only two harts broke when they called it off after three years; as soon as the public found out you could practically hear millions of hearts shatter all over the world.

Their fans still made edits and kept writing fanfiction. They never commented or liked the pictures and videoes like they used to when they appeared in their feed. They still saw them, but they didn't make them happy anymore, all they felt was longing for the other's touch, their smile, and above all their words. Rye tried to ignore them after crying too many times. While Andy skipped them most times and times when he was in deep enough would binge watch them. Only to cry in the end.

Their friends no longer could tease them for "being whipped". No more double or triple dates. The groups of friends that had joined up and found that they had a lot in common slowly drifted apart again in favour of protecting Rye and Andy from further heartbreak. There was no bad blood just a silent understanding; they needed time(they soon saw - when neither of them could move on - that that would take a long time).

Andy's mum would call to make plans for lunch only to have Andy have to leave for his irregular and unpredictable schedule, she could no longer sit and chat to Rye when he did, however. She was one of the few who saw Andy crying as regularly as he did. Well, in the beginning, until he felt like he should be over it and pretended to be okay even in front of her. Her Andy wasn't the same as with Rye or before him. She saw him dull down who he was to blend in more, to go unnoticed. Something he never would have done before he met Rye and never beside Rye(the younger would never let him do anything of the sort).

Rye's parents couldn't invite Andy and his mother for Christmas celebration as they had after they had dated for two years. They would never see Rye and Andy come downstairs early on Christmas Day morning, soon to be attacked by Sammie and Shaun. They missed their son just as much as Andy's mum did.

Andy dealt with his pain by crying and sobbing. He didn't much more than go to work; always in the public eye forcing him to pretend that he was fine. The singer would write songs too, yet the blond could never release a single one of them as everyone would know it was about the actor. So he just carried on with his tours, interviews, and tried to move on his private life as well, however, this was significantly tougher. He was sort of lost - not knowing what he wanted anymore, which was new since he had always known what he wanted to accomplish.

Rye, on the other hand, dived into work(even though he cried too - a lot). Accepting more roles, side projects, and charity work. He also found that he was private about his experience, yet, still carrying on in the public eye. The actor did fewer interviews than Andy but still had his fair share of uncomfortable questions regarding the whole ordeal. With time he got better at avoiding these questions(because even though he was a skilled actor, he had a hard time keeping his face on when it came to talking about Andy, with time they also stopped coming. Rye kept going with everything doing it to 110% until he stopped to think. Everything was merely a distraction at this point, there was no joy involved anymore.

Nevertheless, they were both stuck in themselves. Stuck in a cycle of wanting the other, realising that they can't have it, and trying(and failing) to move on. Countless times.

What is the point? Of all of this? If I can't share it with him, I don't want it. It is worth nothing without him. Who am I even without him?

:::

So not totally what the song is about but I really love it so much I had to. I really hope you liked it even though I should have updated yesterday...sorry.

I love you 3000,

Jo xx