The Next Stage (COMPLETED)

FORTY ONE: Time and Space

Julia

My body felt weak. I'm still sitting here, sa rooftop. So ganito pala yung pakiramdam.

I don't know why he's being like this. Ang daming nangyari, pero mauuwi lang dito.

I know that things will fall into their right places. So, is this the end? The end of the fight that we both want to fight for?

Pumunta ako sa may railings. Damang dama ko yung hangin na napakalamig.

Napatingin ako sa paligid. It feels like you're on the top of the world. Kitang-kita ko yung kabuuan ng Hongkong.

I'll miss this place. But I must go home, I want to go home. There's no reason for me to stay here.

Gusto kong maglibot, but it'll be not worthy of my time. Kasi ako lang mag-isa. I won't enjoy places, including Disneyland that is considered as the happiest place in the world, if I, myself, is not happy.

So this is how it feels na parang it's you against the world? The feeling of being left out. The feeling of being unable to express what you truly feel because no one will even understand every single word that you are trying to say?

Ang sakit pala. Ang bigat pala sa pakiramdam.

Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papalayo, papalayo sa kung saan natapos ang lahat.

Pagbalik ko sa room ni Caitlyn, nakita ko siya na nakatingin sakin. She looks pitiful.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Her tone of voice came back to normal, compare sa kung paano siya magsalita sakin kanina.

"If I say that I am, will you believe me?" I asked her. Pumunta ako sa kitchen. I need a glass of water. I feel so thirsty and exhausted.

Nakakapagod kasing i-explain and i-express yung sarili mo

"No." Sabi niya. She's now in front of me, looking pitiful again.

I nodded. "I guess so." Pumunta ako sa kwarto.

"You looked like a mess. What happened?" Tanong niya. Wow, pinamukha niya talaga.

"If I tell you what happened, will you listen? Will you understand me?" Tanong ko ulit.

"Of course. Can you please stop the questions?" Tanong niya. Umupo siya sa tabi ko. I got myself a pillow and I hold it tight.

"People don't ran out of questions. Life is full of questions." I said.

"I know. Just tell me why you're being like that." She said, sounded so impatient.

I took a deep breath. Paano ko ba sisimulan yung isang bagay na hindi ako yung nagtapos? At ayoko pang matapos.

"I don't know how to start this. Hindi parin kasi ako makapaniwala sa nangyari." I said, running out of breath.

"Did you...saw him?" She asked, more gentle than earlier. That's the kind of bestfriend that I badly needed right now.

"Yes." Sabi ko. She nodded.

"And what?" Tanong niya, waiting for me to say something.

"He asked for time and space. He left me. He left my world and I don't know kung paano ako makaka-recover." Sabi ko. My eyes became watery, again.

"He assumed that I still love my ex-boyfriend. I don't know kung paano niya na prove 'yun sa sarili niya if he has no other proof than what he saw last night." Pagpapatuloy ko.