The Next Stage (COMPLETED)

SIXTY: Final Stage

Zach

"She did her best...she really did." Kuya Harry tapped me on my shoulder.

It's been a week since...

I don't want to say it yet, it's hard to let got of it yet. It's hard to accept.

We decided to do a cremation. We both had an idea na dalhin namin siya sa Pilipinas, kasama sana ng mga magulang ko. But it's not that easy.

Damn. Now, it's real. Wala na silang lahat.

I want to give up, God knows that. Kung hindi ko lang nakilala si Julia and all, baka wala na ako sa mundo.

How can I still live kung wala na akong maituturing na pamilya? The family that also treats me as their family.

"Thank you, Kuya. For everything. I may not be able to pay back the things you did for ate, but it really mean a lot to me. I'm glad because she chose the right person."

"She did turned me into the right person that I never thought I would've become. Kung may mas nag sacrifice, it's definitely her." He started crying.

For the past days, I'm not able to talk to him kasi alam ko na kahit kailangan niya ng kausap, wala din namang sense kasi hindi mawawala nun yung sakit...yung pag-iyak.

And now that he finally looks peaceful, he finally talked to me. Ramdam ko na hindi pa siya okay, but peace is enough for now.

I continue looking at the jar in front of us, katabi ng tatlong picture frames.

Our recent picture, their wedding picture, her picture with her baby, and her solo picture.

I smiled. She lived the years of her life being lowkey. Halata na wala siyang masyadong kakilala. Kung meron man, hindi lahat 'yun nag-stay.

Her simplicity, her beauty, her concern. Those were the few things that I liked about her. Ever since, ganiyan na siya.

The time that we shared these past months was too short, but I guess, it's the universe's way to let myself move forward easily.

The more you spend time together, the more you get attached. And the greater the attatchment is, comes the higher chance to be unable to detach from a person when separation starts to happen.

Yes, able ako na mag move forward agad but that doesn't mean na I'll forget her existence and what she truly mean to me.

Everytime, 'yun naman yung hinihiling ni Ate...my happiness and my satisfaction in life.

And now that she's not here with me anymore, I'll make sure na gagawin ko parin kung ano yung gusto niya. Para sa kaniya. Para maalala ko na mayroong isang tao na gusto akong maging masaya.

"Sobrang proud ako sa kaniya. Sobrang mahal ko siya. Kung pwede ko lang sundan yung mag-ina ko sa langit, nagawa ko na. But since I love her, alam kong hindi niya 'yun gugustuhin."

"You know what? I honestly don't know where to start yet. Itutuloy ko ba yung pagiging piloto ko, how can I face tomorrows without worries of the future. Paano? Hindi ko alam." He paused.

"She used to be my continuation, my comfort, my rest, and my home. But how will I be able to continue when a half of me is broken? No, my whole." He shook his head. He's trying not to cry. For five days straight, wala siyang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang umiyak.

Same with my situation.

The only difference is, I have a lot of plans after this. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano haharapin lahat.