The Next Stage (COMPLETED)

FIFTY TWO: First Love

Julia

"This is what I'm talking about." Sabi niya. Hindi ako makagalaw. Anong nangyayari?

"W-what do you mean?" I can feel my hands shaking, it's out of my control.

"I refuse to answer the question. It's for you to find out. Go ahead, come to him." Sabi niya. Hindi ako makapaniwala.

He attempted suicide. 

Ilang beses nag pplay sa utak ko ang mga salitang 'yun. Why did he do that? Yesterday, I was just with him.

"What else do you know?" I want to find answers but I'm too scared to find it.

He just shrugged. What the hell. This is not the right time for him to act like this!

He smiled. "Parang baliwala ata yung mga sinakripisyo ko kung mamamatay lang din siya."

I slapped him. And I don't even know why.

I ran back inside the house. I got my wallet with me then I started to walk outside, I don't know where will my feet would take me.

"Stop! Ihahatid na kita." Sabi niya. He's his hands are on my shoulders. Hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kaniya. My whole system's functioning differently. My body's shaking.

Nung hindi ako gumalaw naramdaman ko nalang na hinila niya ako papasok ng kotse. Wala na 'kong nagawa, hindi na 'ko pumalag.

Silence enveloped us inside the car.

"Hindi nga 'ko nagkamali." I heard him chuckle. I remain in my position. I didn't move and I also didn't bother him.

"Ano nga bang laban ko, eh first love mo 'yun?" Then he sighed. Hinayaan ko lang siya.

I asked myself. Ano nga bang laban ko kay Charisse? Eh siya, magiging asawa na ni Zach. Eh ako?

Stop. I said to myself. Baka saan pa mapunta 'to.

Why am I diverting my attention into something else? When in the first place, I should be thinking about him.

Is it because of me? God, why is everything so hard? Hindi ba pwedeng mabuhay nalang ako ng maayos?

"Can't you see yourself a while ago? You look really concerned. Damn it." He said. Is he crazy? Sinong hindi magiging concern sa taong gustong magpakamatay?

His immaturity is on another level, I just can't.

"I thought you were leaving?" I asked.

Tumawa siya. "Gustong gusto mo na talaga akong umalis, 'no?" I clenched my jaw.

"I'm just worried about your family." I said, sounding bitterly mad. God, I still can't imagine that he has his own family now.

Hindi siya nagsalita. But instead, he focused his eyes more on the road.

"We're here." He said after a few minutes of driving. So, is this finally the final wave? Am I not seeing him anymore? Permanently?

"Pakisabi, I'm sorry. Pero paki saktan narin siya para sakin. Sabihin mo sa kanya, ang tanga niya. I already did everything to save him even if it takes not saving you, not saving our relationship."

I suddenly became curious of the whole story. Is it the right time to ask him this? But someone's waiting for me...

Because he sounded so highly of himself. Hindi ko alam yung ginawa niya pero parang napaka-big deal noon para sa kaniya.

But I took a deep breath and I find myself out of his car, without saying goodbye.

I don't know what the future holds. If we're still gonna get back together, saan at kailan ko siya makikita ulit, and many more others.