The Next Stage (COMPLETED)

FIFTY EIGHT: Reconciliation

Julia

Not knowing the outcome of what I'm going to do, I sent a text message to him. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano niya nakuha yung number ko. Or maybe, kabisado niya? O kaya hindi niya binura? Ewan.

'Hi. Can we meet?'

Binato ko yung unan ko because of my frustration. Then I erased the draft.

Hindi ko alam yung sasabihin ko. Kasi naman, lagi akong padalos-dalos sa mga desisyon ko.

But instead of going straight to the point, I just typed 'Zach'.

In just a snap, tinatawagan na niya ako.

"Bahala na." I said to myself then I answered the call.

"Why?" Kaagad niyang tanong. I was taken aback.

"Can...can we talk?" I asked. "Please. This time, gusto ko ng magpakatotoo. I want to do what is right." I said.

He has a family now, gets ko naman 'yun. He cheated on me, gets ko rin 'yun. And that's the reason why gusto ko ng itigil lahat.

Pero naisip ko, na tama sila. Paano ako? Paano yung nararamdaman ko? Mahal ko pa yung tao.

I once did that when Azreel left me. Hinayaan ko lang, kasi wala akong laban. And I just let the time pass by.

But now, I want to change my state. Dalawang beses na akong iniwan. But now? Not anymore.

"Don't you remember what I said the last time?" He asked. "You chose to let me go. That's why, pinili ko narin na lumayo, at iwan ka."

A tear escaped from my eyes. When will I even realize the right timing to make decisions? Bakit kahit kailan, hindi na tumama yung timing ko?

"Sir, boarding na po tayo in a minute. No more phone calls na po." Napangiti ako. Hindi na talaga pwede.

"I'm sorry. Bad timing, palagi naman eh. Sorry talaga, ah? Naabala pa kita. I just want you to know, that I still love you, and I always do. Goodbye." Then I ended the call.

"Bakit mo kasi pinilit?" Sabi ko sa sarili ko.

I'm too tired already, magpapahinga muna ako. But I will make sure, na babalik ako. I will not give up.

Everything's not over yet, isn't it?

Before I decided to let everything be on hold, I sent him a text message.

'Hi. Hoping that you'll be safe wherever you are. Thank you and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I'm still here, waiting for time to heal every wound. But I think it's for the best. The past months and weeks are tough. And now, I want to rest and fix everything. Kapag okay na, I'll come and find you. Be happy and healed, Zach.'

"You can do this, Julia. Just trust yourself." I said before going back to sleep.

---

I woke up because I feel that I have to, because I overslept.

Bumaba ako para kumain. Nakakagutom talaga pag kakagaling mo lang sa tulog.

I stopped when I saw CJ na nanonood. We're not okay. Or baka siya lang yung hindi okay sakin? Kasi ako, hindi ko alam. Siguro, kung anong gusto nila, hahayaan ko nalang. They have their own lives, anyway. Kahit kaibigan at kapatid ko sila, I shouldn't meddle with their lives.

"Saan ka galing kanina?" I asked. Dahil sa pagkaka-alala ko, may pinuntahan siya.

"Bakit tinatanong mo?" Tanong niya. Aakyat na sana siya ng biglang nagsalita si Mama.