goodbye [luke hemmings]

Chapter 13

KRYSTAL'S P.O.V.

It's been 2 years. I've been clean for 2 years. My scars were mostly gone. I haven't had the urge at all. I know how to cope with it. I know how to not self harm anymore.

When I got the phone call that my dad died I just couldn't take it anymore. That made the urge come back. Stronger than ever before.

I should probably let you know. When I was 16 years old I was being bullied. Very badly. I would be called a slut and whore and manipulative bitch. I was also very self conscious and I starved myself so much that one day I fainted during class. When I told my parents that it was just nerves they believed me.

But then it got worst. I couldn't take any of it anymore so I found a razor and started cutting on my wrists and thighs. Trust me I know how bad it is but I felt a rush or relief when I cut.

One day during school I started to starve myself again and that day I felt fine. Yeah I was a little hungry but I ignored it. We has presentations today in History class so I was a bit stressed out. I had clean cuts on my wrists from last night.

I got up from my seat to give my presentation when I started feeling light headed as I walked down the aisle to the front. I started feeling worst and thats when I blacked out.

I was in the hospital hooked up to an IV and a bunch of machines. I heard my parents crying next to me as they looked at my wrists rubbing my scars gently and crying. All I could do was just cry with them and say that I'm sorry.

After I told them everything that happened they put me in therapy. I got better. Got clean and a lot happier.

Then this killed me. It hurt me so bad that I had the urge. I had to cut. I needed relief.

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I couldn't sleep at all that night. I just later next to look as he held me close to him.

When I woke up Luke was still sleeping with his draped over me. I untangled myself from him and wrote a note to him

'hey babe i'm going back to my dorm room to get ready for the day and catch up on missed classes. see you later. xx'

That was a lie. I'm not going back to get ready and do homework. I'm going back to cut. I need relief right now and this is the only way to do it.

I got back to the room and made sure that Haley wasn't there. When I didn't see her in the room or the bathroom I grabbed my razor from my bathroom in a little kit and walked back to the room and locked the door behind me.

I removed my bracelets and looked at the razor in my hand. Deciding on whether or not to do this. I pushed every thought out of my head and started cutting against my wrists crying while I do it.

I've already got 4 cuts on my wrist bleeding a little and then I decided for one more. One more deep one. While I was deepening the blade into my white skin I heard a pair of keys drop onto the floor. I looked up and saw my best friend shocked looking at me with glossy eyes. What have I done.