successful ; david dobrik

69

LORELEI

I don't really know what I'm feeling as I throw my clothes in the laundry hamper and climb into the shower, turning the hot water on. It takes only a few seconds to heat up, the water relaxing my tense muscles. I'd gone to the gym for the first time in awhile today and while the exercise I'd done was light and easy, my muscles are sore and body tired.

The hot water does little to ease my racing mind, however, as I tilt my face up into the steady stream. I run my fingers through my hair, combing out the knots. I went to the doctor yesterday to see if the methotrexate injection worked. It did, thankfully, and everything seems to be fine now. I'm still sad, still absolutely heartbroken, but I'm managing to keep sane for the most part.

David walks into the bathroom as I'm rinsing shampoo out of my hair, making his way to the sink. I can just make out his figure through the steamy glass of the shower door, see him brushing his teeth. "You gonna join me?" I ask, when he hunches over the sink to spit out a mouthful of toothpaste.

I close my eyes and step under the stream of hot water, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to get all shampoo and conditioner out. The shower door slides open after a moment, David's body hovering behind mine. "Hey," He breathes, planting a gentle kiss to my neck. I can feel him take a slow inhale, hear him breathe out an exhale. "You smell good."

"Shampoo," I say in response, leaning my body back against his. It's been awhile since we've been this close, since we've been this intimate. David reaches up onto the top shelf and grabs my coconut body wash, drizzling a generous amount into the palm of his hand. He snakes his arms around my middle and lets his palms wander over my chest and sides, lathering the body wash into my skin. "I missed you," I whisper, as his hands cup my breasts, David's lips pressing tender kisses on my shoulders and neck. "Missed this."

David smirks against my skin, trailing his kisses upwards. His lips nip at my jaw and then my cheek, gently peppering soft kisses along my face. His skin is wet and slick against mine, nothing but love in between us. "I know," He murmurs, hands moving down to rest on my hips. "Me too." His mouth captures mine in a deep kiss, hands roaming down my sides. His arms secure around my middle, pulling my body closer to his.

We stand there in the shower, holding each other under the stream of hot water until the water turns cold. He's always there for me, always ready to give advice or anything I need at the drop of a pin. We don't do anything more than kiss, our curious hands exploring each other's body. I don't think either of us are ready for more than that. We're still trying to pick up the pieces.

"I love you," David tells me as we lay down in the bed, my body hidden by the covers. I rest my head on his bare chest and close my eyes as his fingers card through my hair, a soft sigh on my lips. I don't know what to say or how to say it, don't know exactly what I'm doing or feeling. David's fingertips trace over the tattoo on my hip, humming quietly in my ear.

"I love you," I answer, my voice a quiet whisper. David kisses my shoulder, squeezing my hip gently. It's moments like these that are the hardest, moments where David's soft hands are wandering over my body, skipping over my stomach completely when my heart throbs in my chest, my eyes squeezing shut. "I miss our Bean," I whisper, curling my arms around his middle and burying my face in his chest.

David sighs quietly, his fingers roaming up my spine. He kisses the top of my head, hands trailing down to rest on the small of my back. "I know," David whispers. He's just as broken and lost as I am, just as confused and desperate for answers. "I do, too."

Neither of us say anything for a few minutes, we just lay together, David staring blankly up at the ceiling as my face remains hidden in his chest. His skin is soft and he still smells of his body wash, my lips parted as I trail gentle kisses along the dip of his collarbones, moving up his neck. "We can have a baby," He says, squeezing my hip gently. "If you want. Not now, not for awhile, but we can."

I close my eyes, letting the palms of my hands rest on David's chest. I don't know if that's what I want, another baby. After this happening, I don't know if I could handle it again. "Some day," I whisper, kissing his adam's apple. "Some day."

[a/n]

hey guys (: this wasn't edited so if theres any errors i'm sorry lol but to be fair i rarely ever edit and no one seems to complain (; we luv a lazy sis