successful ; david dobrik

80

LORELEI

The sun is just sinking down past the horizon when I get home, the sky stained with streaks of lilac and pink and orange, bathing the world in a pretty glow as I walk up the driveway. I set my keys down on the stand right beside the door and close it behind me, smiling as Astley bounds up to me, mouth open and tail wagging. "Hey, little guy," I say, kneeling down to scratch between his ears.

I lift myself up and toe off my shoes, tucking them away as I make my way into the living room, surprised to find David curled up on the couch with a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream resting carelessly between his legs, spoon captured between his lips as reruns of FRIENDS play on the tv. He's taken aback when he looks up at me, his tear-stained cheeks and red eyes drawing my attention. "Hey," David mutters hoarsely, dropping the silver spoon into the carton of ice cream. I get a peek of his green hoodie as he moves the carton to set it on the coffee table, dark grey blanket falling from his chest to pool around his waist.

"Hey," I say, setting my purse down and making my way over to the couch. David reaches out to pull me down in between his legs, his cold lips resting on my shoulder. "What's up, love? You're supposed to be filming, yeah?"

David shakes his head and winces, clenching his jaw as he reaches for the carton of ice cream, pink lips pulling down in a pout. I want to lean in and kiss the frown away, but there are dark bags under his eyes and a dimple wrinkling the space between his brows and my thoughts are suddenly elsewhere. "What's wrong, baby?" I ask, taking the carton of ice cream from him and setting it aside, my hand finding his, fingers intertwining.

Brown eyes flick up to find mine before he looks away again, plump bottom lip caught between his teeth. My arm comes up to wrap around his shoulders, my fingers brushing over the back of his neck, tangling in his hair as I patiently wait for his eyes to find mine again. He tenses up at the contact before relaxing beneath me, soft sigh leaving his mouth. "I was supposed to go to Jason's today," He murmurs, resting his head on my shoulder. "And film."

"I know," I say, eyes softening.

"I don't know what's wrong, I just feel like," David doesn't finish, just raises our clasped hands to his chest as if that would help. He stutters out again, trying to form some sort of explanation but ultimately gives up, his bottom lip quivering. David leans further into me and releases a short, ragged breath. "It hurts," He manages, voice nothing more than a harsh whimper.

I don't ask him what it is, just tighten my grip on him and hope he understands that I'm here, that I get it. I always have, always will. David closes his eyes and exhales, burying his head in my shoulder, both arms wrapping around my middle. "I always do this. I make plans and then it then it just gets too much. Why is it so much?" I tilt my head rather awkwardly to look at him through hazy eyes before I sigh softly, hearing the unsaid words between the two of us, hanging in the air thickly even though he hasn't said them aloud.

"Everyone understands, David. You put too much pressure on yourself. It's okay to need a break, baby. They don't hate you for it, and neither do I."

David shakes his head again and lets out a short lived sound between a whimper and a sob, his broad shoulders shaking. "I hate me for it," He whispers. It's always there and I know it, know that it lurks under his skin waiting to become visible at the worst times, when insecurity and self doubt comes to play and it hurts so much to see the boy I love so lost in his pain. "God, what's wrong with me?"

I let out a little laugh and he leans away to look at me properly at the sound. "Dave, it's okay to be anxious sometimes. And it's okay to need a break, and it's okay for everything to sometimes feel like a little too much. It's not your fault. There's nothing wrong with you, baby." He bites the corner of his lip and I reach out to let my finger run across it until he stops, finally leaning up to kiss the pout belonging to the boy I love so much. "You're amazing," I say, and I can tell he doesn't believe me and I know this but it won't stop me from reminding him anyway. "You make me so incredibly happy, David. You make so many people happy every day. Sometimes you need to step back and make yourself happy."

David looks at me with watery eyes and nods his head, hiding his face in the fabric of my shirt. I slip my hands under his hoodie and let them roam up to rest on his back, staying there until he slowly lifts his head and presses a kiss to my cheek, his arms wrapping around my waist. "You're so perfect," I say, as I pull back to look up into his brown eyes. "I wish you knew that. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You're perfect to me."

He doesn't answer for a moment, just closes his eyes and lets me lean back against his chest, resting my head against his shoulder. He smells like his cologne and vaguely of the mint ice cream he'd been eating, and I can see us twenty years from now in this same position, a few more lines etched into our skin. "I'm so, so in love," David says, his voice slicing through the silence softly.