successful ; david dobrik

90

LORELEI

The unsteady, fast thump of my rapid heartbeat in my chest is all I can hear, all I can feel, all I can think about. It's like the world is spinning around me, everything blurry and my head spinning. My hands are shaky as I reach up and grab three boxes; Clearblue, First Response, and Fact Plus.

I look around, glancing over both shoulders and then sighing, closing my eyes and shaking my head. I set the three boxes down in my cart and lean forward, burying my face in my hands. "Fuck," I whisper, biting down on my bottom lip until the sharp taste of blood fills my mouth. I bring my thumb up to my lip and wipe at the torn skin, shaking my head once more. "Fuck." 

I push the cart forward, pausing only when I reach an aisle with blankets. I toss a blanket over the boxes in the cart, wishing that the blanket could cover my worry and shame like it hides the boxes. If one of David's fans recognize me and get a picture, I'm screwed. 

Three weeks late. How could I let this happen again? I've been taking my birth control religiously. Every morning like clockwork, never letting a single day go by without taking one. But still, my period is three weeks late and my stomach turns with nausea every morning. How could I let this happen again? How could I let this happen after what happened last time?

I stop at the self checkout, fumbling with the boxes and finally swiping one, shaking my head. I glance over my shoulder, catching a Target employee's gaze. A smile stretches across the woman's lips and I look away, clasping the next box tightly. Somehow I manage to swipe all three boxes and shove them into a bag with record speed. With a heavy sigh, I swipe my card and take my receipt, shoving it into the pocket of my jeans as I hurry out of the store. 

I nearly hit my head on the roof of my Jeep as I climb in when my phone buzzes loudly in the cup holder. I slam the door shut and buckle up, fumbling with my seatbelt before reaching for my phone. 

Incoming call: David

I let out a sigh and curse the world for seemingly being so against me lately. I take a second to properly breathe, try to slow my racing heartbeat, and then swipe to answer his call. "Hey," I say, starting the Jeep. 

"Hey, baby," He says, phone muffing as he moves around on his end. "Jason, get the door!" He shouts. 

He's not home right now, thank God. I don't think I'd be able to face him if he was. "If you're busy filming you can call me later," I say as I toss the Target bag into the passenger seat, closing my eyes and resting my head against the steering wheel. 

"No," He rushes. I can picture the flush on his cheeks, the apologetic smile on his lips. "I'm never too busy for you, you know that," He says, before he lets out a groan. "If Jason could just learn how to shut the fucking door when he leaves the house." I hear a door slam shut, followed by Jason's voice shouting a profanity at David. "Okay, sorry, petal." 

"It's fine," I say, looking down at my lap. 

"What have you been up to?" He asks, and my heart rate picks up again, fluttering in my chest. 

"Uh," I say, looking around. I've never been good at lying, especially not to David. "Just shopping."

"Oh? What for?" I mentally curse myself. We'd been grocery shopping together the day before.

I look in the passenger seat, my eyes falling on the Target bag. "Oh, you know," I say, my voice faltering. "A blanket." 

"A blanket?" He questions. I can picture his furrowed brows, the confusion written on his face. "Why? We have tons." 

"I, uh," I rub at my forehead and lift my head off the steering wheel, leaning back in the seat. "I just wanted a new one for the couch." 

"Okay," David answers, slowly. 

"How was filming today?" I ask, trusting on changing the subject to fix all my problems. I listen as he gets a conversation going about how he's been with Jason and Toddy all day, but the longer I talk to him the more nervous I get. I can't tell him now, because he'll insist on coming home and make a big deal only for the test to have a negative result. 

Once I take the test, I'll tell him. Positive or negative. He deserves to know. We'll figure it out together, then. 

"Look, babe, I gotta get home and start on some dinner. Can I call you later?" I ask, my fingers tracing over the steering wheel. 

"Oh, you're still shopping?" David asks. 

"No, I'm in the Target parking lot," I answer, wiping at my face with my hands. 

"Of course, love. Call me when you get home. Drive safe, baby. I love you." 

"I love you, too. I'll talk to you soon." I hang up and let out another sigh, slowly pulling out of my parking space and beginning the short drive home. 

Half an hour later, I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at the three boxes, all of them torn open. David has texted twice, asking if I made it home and while I know I should respond to let him know I'm safe, I can't wait anymore. I need to know. 

But in this moment, my heart caught in my throat, I can't bring myself to look at the results. Instead, my eyes remain on the opened boxes. I don't know what to think. What if it's positive? The risk of an ectopic pregnancy is supposed to be so, so low, but it's increased after one occurs. I can't handle it happening again. David can't handle it happening again. We barely made it through the first time. 

The timer I set goes off, again, and I finally stand from my position on the floor, my legs shaky under me as I amble towards the counter where the test is set. I close my eyes and grab the test, holding it tightly and finally looking down.

Positive

I exhale a sigh and for a second, my nerves seem to wash away. And then a tear slips down my cheek and then another, my hand reaching up to cover my mouth and muffle my cries. I don't know how long I stand there, my hand clasped over my mouth and my eyes squeezed shut, my shoulders shaking with the force of my sobs. 

My eyes find my reflection in the mirror, dropping down to my stomach. I'm wearing a shapeless red sweater and yet somehow, when my eyes find my belly, I can't help but feel my heart flutter in my chest. My phone dings on the counter again and finally I pick it up, my watery eyes skimming over the screen. 

iMessage from David: Did you make it home safe? Call me. I love you. 

I wipe my tears away and swipe to the side to call him, bringing my phone up to my ear as it rings. "Hey, Lor," He says, answering after the second ring. "Where were you?" 

"Hey," I answer, wiping at my stuffy nose with my hand. "Sorry, you know how traffic is." 

"Yeah," David says. "I'll be home in half an hour, okay, petal?"

"Okay," I say. I don't know how to feel, all I know is that I need to hide these boxes better than the last time, because I have no idea how to tell him. Not yet. "I'll see you then." 

"I love you." 

"You, too." 

[a/n]

some of yall about to be real mad at me but it must be said. skskksks i know youre all about to HATE ME FOR THIS but we're nearing chapter 100 and ill be damned if i dont give david a baby. u all know this boy has hella baby fever ever since josh had his baby. i honestly dont know if i want to continue writing this story after chapter 100 or start up another one. i feel like im really uninspired and have literally no ideas for this book but i also dont want to disappoint all of u. this book has over 100k reads and thats literally mindboggling. i never thought anyone would read this, much less that many ppl. not to be all sappy n gross but it means a lot to me <3 owo